Subject: How the Pope Saved the Duke

From: Duke of Uke <jimcser@teleport.com> Newsgroups: alt.slack Date: Sat, Apr 8, 2000 5:42 AM Message-ID: <eaDH4.4330$RY5.75868@nntp3.onemain.com>

All,

In the initial flood of Amsterdam reports, you may have seen a few references to how Pope Black saved the life of the Duke of Uke. Here's what happened:

It was Monday night, and there was a bunch of Subs taking over the Dutch Flowers coffeehouse, about a mile from the hotel. I wanted some real food, so I went out and wandered around a bit until I found a little middle eastern joint, where I ordered a falafel sandwich. It was pretty good, until it started tasting kinda...funny.

Fuck. You see, I have a *very* severe allergy to peanuts, which has sent me to the hospital a number of times. I try to ask when I eat out (Thai food is the worst), but sometimes I just don't expect it -- like in falafel, which I *never* have had any problems with before. If it's a sauce or a glob of peanut butter or something, then I can taste it right away, and the reaction is relatively mild. But when it's *ground up* in something, then it's like a magic brownie -- I don't notice until I've eaten *all* of it, and then it's *too late*.

So, not yet knowing how bad the reaction was ultimately going to be, I started to find my way back to the coffeehouse. Fortunately, I had my killer hi-res city map that I got from the train station, so I knew I just had to find the Singel canal and I was in good shape. At this point, I was getting all red and itchy, and my breathing was beginning to get more difficult, both signs that this was probably going to be a Big One. Soon I arrived back at Dutch Flowers...it was closed.

Fuck. I kept walking toward the hotel, since there I could at least take some Benedryl and then get help. I had no sense of how far it was, and I was definitely getting worse. But then, I saw a figure walking toward me, and it was none other than Pope Black, Pope of All Europe, who hadn't realized that the coffeehouse had already closed.

Cool. The Pope was good about asking me about what was going on and what I needed and what he could do (he works as lifeguard). I basically told him I need to get to the hotel so I could take my Benedryl and call an ambulence. I'm typically pretty calm in these situations, since I know the drill and know I need to stay focused on the progress of my symptoms, but I was still feeling pretty shitty, and the clock was ticking.

So, we start off. I'm gradually getting worse but still under my own power, with the help of pep talks and eventually a shoulder from the Pope. Finally, miraculously, we see the magic "Renaissance Hotel" sign, and I hurl in the street while the Pope goes inside to the lobby [aside: I actually *felt bad* for getting the street dirty, that what kind of a city it was].

The ambulance shows up right away -- I was REALLY GLAD I was in HOLLAND. The EMT's give me oxygen and get me to the hospital, where they pumped me full of antihistamines and stuff, which helped immediately. A few hours later I'm well enough to take a cab home, and I DIDN'T HAVE TO PAY A DAMN GUILDER. That morning I *truly* appreciated the breakfast buffet. Outside the hotel, the seagulls were picking at my vomit from the night before, which was extremely satisfying, in a way I can't quite articulate.

That was the worst allergic reaction I've ever had; I've been driven to the emergency room before, but this was the first time I was taken there by ambulance. The post-non-mortem is: If I had gotten totally lost and not found help, I would have died. If I had not found the Pope, I likely would have not made it to the hotel, and probably would have died. Even with help, I still *could* have died. But I didn't.

The moment that most sticks with me, though, is when we were getting close to the hotel, and I was feeling the beginnings of passing out. I told the Pope that I wanted to rest, but he said "No, you have to force yourself". That's what made the difference -- both hearing those words, and some deep, intuitive, reflexive realization that forcing myself to go on would be a REALLY REALLY GOOD IDEA.

So that's *my* Amsterdam story. Thanks Pope. Praise "BOB".

Jim Cser -- (still) "The Duke of Uke" ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: How the Pope Saved the Duke From: Name: PopeBlack <popeblack@hotmail.com> Newsgroups: alt.slack Date: Sat, Apr 8, 2000 9:30 AM Message-ID: <8cnca5$cor$1@nnrp1.deja.com>

Man, I'm just glad your ok.

-- http://meltingpot.fortunecity.com/metric/302/ His divine grace, The Second Luckiest Man Alive! The Apostle Pope General Dr. Mighty David Lee Black THC MMDA

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy. ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: How the Pope Saved the Duke From: SubGenius Spice <anon2166@hushmail.com> Newsgroups: alt.slack Date: Sat, Apr 8, 2000 2:54 PM Message-ID: <b00ves0qcqkgj6mi6pvv3djpvh4eaqsg42@megaHAL>

# 15 on today's alt.slack hit parade is Name and Deja.com - Before you buy. doing their rendition of :

>Man, I'm just glad your ok.

PRA POPE BLACK !!

automatic lifetime membership in the church or randy mantooth.

--
SubGenius Spice
osoroshii kangae
nimo osoware masu.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: How the Pope Saved the Duke From: ePRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com> Newsgroups: alt.slack Reply-To: nenslo@tonyaharding.org Date: Sat, Apr 8, 2000 2:49 PM Message-ID: <38EF7F24.51A1@subgenius.com>

That's what I like... stories of misery and suffering, sickness and deadly peril! Now THAT is "getting wasted." Or pert near. Praise The Horse's Rear for saving The Duke! ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: How the Pope Saved the Duke From: Name: PopeBlack <popeblack@hotmail.com> Newsgroups: alt.slack Date: Sun, Apr 9, 2000 1:08 AM Message-ID: <8cp38g$5mv$1@nnrp1.deja.com>

Who is Randy Mantooth?

>
> PRA POPE BLACK !!
>
> automatic lifetime membership in the church or randy mantooth.
>
> --
> SubGenius Spice
> osoroshii kangae
> nimo osoware masu.
>

-- http://meltingpot.fortunecity.com/metric/302/ His divine grace, The Second Luckiest Man Alive! The Apostle Pope General Dr. Mighty David Lee Black THC MMDA

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy. ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: How the Pope Saved the Duke From: Unit 4 <UnitIV@SPUTUM.com> Newsgroups: alt.slack Reply-To: unit4@sputum.com Date: Sun, Apr 9, 2000 5:15 AM Message-ID: <5ci0fsokr4rcrd29g5gd13b7s291s2mk0v@4ax.com>

On Sun, 09 Apr 2000 05:08:39 GMT, Name: PopeBlack <popeblack@hotmail.com>
wrote, in alt.slack:

}
}
}
}Who is Randy Mantooth?
}
}>
}> PRA POPE BLACK !!
}>
}> automatic lifetime membership in the church or randy mantooth.

The indian actor who played an EMT on "Emergency!" a 70's EMT/ER/Fireman
type TV drama weekly.

Original file name: How the Pope Saved the Duke

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