The Library
The Church's canon was published on one page as 76 undifferentiated blue links, sorted by nothing, described by nothing. Nobody has ever read it that way. Here it is with word counts, reading times, opening lines and a search box — 227,960 words in total.
Includes The Book of the SubGenius itself, the Prescriptures, the complete Three-Fisted Tales of “Bob”, a 14,000-word interview with Rev. Ivan Stang, and The Horror On Howth Hill by Pope Robert Anton Wilson.
66 DOCUMENTS · LONGEST FIRST
Nothing in the canon matches that. The Conspiracy may have gotten to it. Clear the search.
The Book of the SubGenius
The 1983 book itself, every page of it, set for reading rather than scrolling — with chapter navigation, the plates in place, and the index. Not a transcript of a transcript.
The Stark Fist of Removal
The Church's own magazine as it was printed — art, letters, clippings and rants, photocopied. Not the transcripts: the artifact.
World Without Slack
Ten surviving chapters of an unfinished SubGenius novel by the co-creator of The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers — stitched back into sequence, with the gaps marked.
The Book of Dobbscoin
A Record of Builders, Weirdness, and the Collective Future — a scripture assembled from the Traditions of the Builders and transmitted through many hands. Never Final, Always Forkable.
The Third Fist
The Third Fist - part 2 ©1988 Rev. Ivan Stang THE THIRD FIST part 2 The canoe "landed" on dry ground... but rather than a tropical jungle, it was a cold Northern forest. Li was further surpr…
“Bob” and the Oxygen Wars
"Bob" and the Oxygen Wars Connector Waves Forest "BOB" AND THE OXYGEN WARS part 2 I did so and read: The mutual repulsion of electrons can be overcome at sufficiently high pressures and low …
LONG Interview with Rev. Stang
THE LONG INTERVIEW from GRAY AREAS magazine Rev. Ivan Stang interviewed by Netta Gilboa What is the Church of the SubGenius? That is a damned good question. We're still trying to figure that one out, …
Tales of the Golden Slack
Tales of the Golden Slack The Reverend Doctor Doctor (Mr. M.D.) David N. Meyer II Pope of All New York City, Idaho, and The Great Pacific Northwest TALES OF THE GOLDEN SLACK Volume One This fable is d…
New Hierarchy™ Tale
New Hierarchy Tale Guy C. Deuel NEW HIERARCHY TM TALE I mmaculate, Ivan Stang TM paused before the mirror to straighten his already perfect tie. Then he picked up his expensive briefcase and went out …
The Horror on Howth Hill
The Horror On Howth Hill Pope Robert Anton Wilson THE HORROW ON HOWTH HILL I t was the rains, I swear-the interminable, unspeakable Irish rain-that drove us over the edge. My old Gothic castle, locate…
A Working Religion
A Working Religion Larry Sulkis, St. A WORKING RELIGION I t's a typical motel room: bed, table, sink, cheap towels and little bitty bars of soap wrapped in wax paper. It's familiar, not familiar in th…
The Smoker from the Shadows
THE SMOKER FROM THE SHADOWS by Harry S. Robins Liber scriptus proferetur, Inquo totum continetur Unde mundus iudicetur. -- Thomas of Celano, l247 A.D. Yea, I make sport of thee, and mock thee... -- Pr…
The Vreedeez Sanction
The Vreedeez Sanction ©1984 G. Gordon Gordon THE VREEDEEZ SANCTION T o begin with, it wasn't the best of times to be back on the West coast. The State Immigration Police were extremely tight and the n…
Killing “Bob”
Killing "Bob" Brooks Caruthers KILLING "BOB" A One-Act Play The set consists of two separately lighted sections. On stage left we have the apartment of DR. HARRY TOMKINS and BARBARA DOBSON . It should…
The Real Story
The Real Story Pope Michael Peppe THE REAL STORY "Bob" wended his way through the huge computer-packed office, dodging frantic clerks at almost every step, and ducked inside the glass-walled inner off…
The Prescriptures
The Prescriptures The Prescriptures PROPHECY OF THE SUBGENIUS - from The Economicon of Dobbs Neumeronicus Neuronicus 56-88 Bank 18 Disc sg30 File 14 [from "The Book of the SubGenius"] Art: THE STARK F…
Questions
SubSite - FAQ & Archives SubSite The Web Also: Pamphlet #1 | Pamphlet #2 | Press Kit (coming soon) | SubGenius Manifesto | Classic Texts Navigate Foundational FAQs More "Recent" FAQs SubGenius Manifes…
199619971998
199619971998 Rev. John Shirley 199619971998 S he was a small soft thing walking in the shadow of great hard things, under the sullen grey sky of a November morning. She was in North Central California…
About the Contributors
About The Contributors ABOUT THE CONTRIBUTORS St. Paul Mavrides (aka "LIES") "Spam" is intemationally known for his acidly etched, vividly bleak view of life, as deluminated through uncounted sardonic…
Stompin' at the Savoy
Stompin' At The Savoy ©1985 Lewis Shiner STOMPIN' AT THE SAVOY W hat I really need, Guy thought, is to duck into a Porta-Santa and blow off some of these bad vibes. WLCD, "the easy-watching channel," …
Bleeding Headeclessians 9:9
Bleeding Headeclessians 9:9 St. Janor Hypercleats BLEEDING HEADECLESSIANS 9:9 Drs. 4 "Bob" Statement of Purpose (1983 edition) 9:9 This article is written as a statement of purpose, direction, and goa…
What the Hell Do You Think You're Doing?
WHAT THE HELL Application Form WHAT THE HELL Application Form Reprinted from the SubGenius Foundation original, written by Rev. Ivan Stang under Dobbsian guidance; this online version captured by: coo…
Dot, Too Dot
Dot, Two Dot Dr. Maka Dudi, K. S. C. DOT, TWO DOT A Tale of Duplicity Focal Passage: Matthew 18:18 -- "Wherefore, if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off. And if thy eye offend thee, pluck i…
Chapter 19
CHAPTER 19 from THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS EXCERPT [Channeled by St. Janor Hypercleats, Rev. Ivan Stang, Pope Sternodox Keckhaver, Hellswami Satellite Weavers] [from Chapter 19, "The Book of the SubGen…
Beforeword
Beforeword Dr. Philo Drummond Overman 1st Degree First Authorized FisTemple Lodge Church of the SubGenius/Drummondian BEFOREWORD T raditionally, there are only two reasons for any book to have an intr…
The Greatest JOKE (?) Ever Told?
The Book Of The SubGenius: Ch. 2 THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS (TM) -- The Greatest Joke (?) Ever Told by Rev. Ivan Stang Sacred Scribe #273 IS the Church of the SubGenius just a monumental prank? Yes a…
The SubGenius® Media Barrage Tape
INSTRUCTIONS FOR YOUR NEW SUBGENIUS (TM) TAPE Praise "Bob." The Luck Plane has brought you into possession of a SubGenius Media Barrage(TM) or A-music(TM) tape. This could be the greatest thing that's…
Pilgrimage
Pilgrimage Rev. Ken DeVries PILGRIMAGE H itler 1100108 was waiting when Dobbs clambered ineptly out of the saucer. "Gaw-dam!" "Bob" thought. A couple of years made a big improvement. Hitler 1100108 st…
Three-Fisted Review
Three-Fisted Review Douglass St. Clair Smith THREE-FISTED REVIEW edited by Rev. Ivan Stang S omebody up there must like the SubGeniuses. And that's ironic, because they sure haven't gone out of their …
Ad
AD ...And now, a paid message... by Rev. Bubba Free IM-HO-PEP INNOCENT I Michael Peppe Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People dev…
Mr. Zed's Adventure
Mr. Zed's Incredible Antisleep Aventure ©1986 Dr. Christopher Gross MR. ZED'S INCREDIBLE ANTISLEEP ADVENTURE A s "Yodelin' 'Bob'" Dobbs mounted his horse, Dobbin, and rode off tunefully into the sunse…
In Remembrance of Tim McGinnis
In Remembrance of Tim McGinnis Rev. Ivan Stang Sacred Scribe #273 Stangian Orthodox Covenant People's MegaFisTemple Lodge of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected IN REMEMBRANCE OF TIM McGINNIS (1953-1988) O n July…
The Repentance of Femsh
The Repentance of Femsh ©1984 Rev. Ed Rom THE REPENTANCE OF FEMSH I t was a slow day at Femsh Tobacco and Supplies. So it was a surprise to Mr. Millard Femsh when a customer came in, jingling the bell…
Sects and Death
Sects and Death ©1979 William S. Burroughs SECTS AND DEATH Behind-ForeEverAfterword: I postulate that the function of art and all creative thought is to make us aware of what we know and don't know th…
Expose
Expose Rev. Ed Rom EXPOSE "F orgive "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned," said the good-looking nubile teenager in the confession booth. "Tell me about it," said Father Damien Morbidius, the secret…
Neon Night
The End of All Bullets Dr. Christopher Gross NEON NIGHT "B ob" was down to his last fifty, and he broke it at the Blue Moon Bar. Its name was well-deserved; the facade and window frames were decorated…
Gleetings
Gleetings Euthanasius GLEETINGS T he ruby red boils on Pee Dog's hemmorhoids pulsated and quivered with excitement as he forced his way through the crowd. His sulphurous, Mercapatan-laden farts assaul…
Escape from Slackworld
Escape from Slackworld 25 Rev. Ken DeVries ESCAPE FROM SLACKWORLD 25 the only next-to-last sequel to EVERYTHING Ü broain's cell hurt. It was the only thing left of his body after thousands of enhancem…
Dupe
Dupe Rev. Sternodox Keckhaver DUPE B rass Zamph was uncomfortably entering what he reckoned was his third full day of 'Frop withdrawal. He was also unable to move his arms or legs. Hours earlier, in t…
Mister Fixit
Mr. Fixit Rev. Ken DeVries MISTER FIXIT I n the Pure Land, the Clear Light glowed warmly, muddied only by the persistent buzzing of JHVH1. From the Great White Throne of Judgement NENSLO looked out ac…
The Brag of the SubGenius®
The Brag of the SubGenius NOW! Through the miracle of technology! HEAR IT IN TRUESPEECH WHILE YOU READ IT!! BROTHER CLEVE DUNKAN whips it out in this TrueSpeech playback of his legendary performance f…
How I Spent My Summer Vacation
How I Spent My Summer Vacation John Trubee HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER VACATION O ne groovy summer's evening last year I drove down to Marina del Ray to attend a swinger's orgy. I listened to a Rupert Holme…
Stupid “Bob” Trick
The End of All Bullets Kibo A STUPID "BOB" TRICK Note: Band-Aid(TM) is a registered trademark, and I'll use it where I damn well please. I should have known I would regret going to the supermarket on …
I Lived in a Teenage World Without Slack
I Lived In A Teenage World Without Slack ©1983 Puzzling Evidence I LIVED IN A TEENAGE WORLD WITHOUT SLACK WHAM! I remember Vreedees flying across the room and landing backwards on the gondola step bel…
The End of All Bullets
The End of All Bullets ©1985 Dr. Christopher Gross THE END OF ALL BULLETS Chapter 20 T hat's right, folks -- that was the time "Bob" came over and he was wearing that electric spinning bow tie of his.…
Life Raft
Life Raft Dr. Maka Dudi LIFE RAFT T he sea was as smooth as glass. The orange life raft was motionless. "I've gotta have a drink of water!" snarled Sam Slam to the purser, who was guarding the preciou…
I'm Coming, Too, “Bob”
I'm Coming, Too, "Bob" ©1985 G. Gordon Gordon I'M COMING, TOO, "BOB" A Farce in Three Unnatural Acts Scene 1: (We open in a stone-walled Viennese cellar. The room is dark. A kerosene lantern at one da…
The Paramus Manuscript
The Paramus Manuscript Dr. Chriss Gross THE PARAMUS MANUSCRIPT T he Paramus Manuscript was found, appropriately enough, in Paramus, New Jersey. It was seen being thrown out of the window of a taxicab …
“The Death of “Bob” Dobbs”
The Death of 'BOB' intro There is really very little to say about the WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "ANTICHRIST?" document. To the discerning SubGenius, it speaks for itself. I hope it is obvious that this is not…
The Vision of Ahmed Fishmonger
The Vision of Ahmed Fishmonger Dr. Ahmed Fishmonger THE VISION OF AHMED FISHMONGER I t has become almost painfully clear to me in recent months that the universe engenders many forces with which we ar…
Parable
Parable ©1983 LIES PARABLE A Film Treatment I t is early 1997. In a Dallas church, the Reverend Ivan Stang exhorts his congregation to abandon America and its wicked ways. He tells them that paradise …
I Fucked Connie Dobbs
I Fucked Connie Dobbs ©1986 Rev. Ivan Stang I FUCKED CONNIE DOBBS Y es, it's true -- I fucked Connie Dobbs. It wasn't my idea, either. She called me up! From the Riviera, yet! Said, "Oh, Reverend Stan…
Life After X-Day
Life After X-Day Rev. Doktor Onan Canobite Pope of Tennessee LIFE AFTER X-DAY ( Author's note : These are a series of sketches of life on Earth after 5 July 1998. This is not designed to entertain nor…
The All-Too-Real Dreams
The All-Too-Real Dreams Dr. Ahmed Fishmonger THE ALL-TOO-REAL DREAMS Dream 1 Praise be to "BOB," bringer of Slack, true saint of sales, most brilliant sex god, prime communicant'of the forbidden myste…
The Ology of the Izness
The Ology Of The Izness Dr. Christopher Gross THE OLOGY OF THE IZNESS Being the Revelation of Mr. Zed A nd "Bob" brought me unto an high place above the roads of the city. And I saw Motorists in wondr…
3 and 4-Fisted Tales Of "Bob"
Classic SubGenius Tales Classic SubGenius Tales Three-Fisted Tales of "Bob" PLASTIC MODEL KIT OF J.R. "BOB" DOBBS by Paul Mavrides BEFOREWORD by Dr. Philo Drummond IN REMEMBRANCE OF TIM McGINNIS by Re…
Test 999
Test 999 LIES TEST 999 Y OU ARE INVOLVED WITH A RELIGIOUS CULT. YOU FOUNDED THE CULT AS A MEANS OF CRITIQUING ORGANIZED RELIGION, WITH THE IDEA THAT IT WOULD ONLY EXIST ON PAPER. IT STARTED OUT AS A J…
Kids 'N' Sex
What I Know Rev. Mark Mothersbaugh DEVO WHAT I KNOW Kids 'n' Sex Where do kids get their ideas about sex? what elements contribute to the misconceptions we have in our pre-sex ages? I remember at the …
Plastic Model Kit of J.R. “Bob” Dobbs
Plastic Model Kit of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs Plastic Model Kit of J. R. "BOB" DOBBS 1:8 Scale L ong, long ago, during the Years of Trouble, when all the Northern Fathers still slept under the glaciers, there…
A Close Shot at Qian Qing Gong
What I Know Rev. Mark Mothersbaugh DEVO WHAT I KNOW A Close Shot at Qian Qing Gong (Palace of Heavenly Purity It was a fucking fantastic voyage, and we were traveling through a most disturbing part of…
Man O Man a Shove Its
What I Know Rev. Mark Mothersbaugh DEVO WHAT I KNOW Man O Man a Shove Its Dissertation from an F Student What a day. Trouble in the Middle East, tension in the Eastern Bloc, problems here at home, boy…
Pamphlet #2
SubGenius Pamphlet #2 They may be watching you... ACT LIKE YOU AREN'T READING THIS! ARE YOU " DIFFERENT "? Then YOU ARE ONE OF THE CHOSEN -- and that's why this pamphlet has "accidentally" fallen into…
Crude Behavior
What I Know Rev. Mark Mothersbaugh DEVO WHAT I KNOW Crude Behavior Or Doggone It, Stop, Mister! There is a part of the brain that harks back to primordial times. In the female, it is the ostrich, a st…
A Close Shot at Slack
What I Know Rev. Mark Mothersbaugh DEVO WHAT I KNOW A Close Shot at Slack "I don't know who Art is, but I know what I like," boasts a rookie right-hander from the Salt Lake City Tarpturds as he takes …
It Took a Genius to Invent It
What I Know Rev. Mark Mothersbaugh DEVO WHAT I KNOW It Took A Genius to Invent It It took a genius to invent it, but it only takes a monkey to detonate it. Boom, boom, boom! Retrograde Evolution, wind…
Pamphlet #1
Pamphlet #1 - intro Now at last! The step-by-step process is revealed! This explosive new futureligion BEYOND science may raise your intelligence, transform your life, improve your health and luck, an…