Subject: Re: I remember when

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> Newsgroups: alt.slack Date: Tue, Apr 4, 2000 10:15 PM Message-ID: <040420002215440127%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <38E98DF6.22E2@subgenius.com>, ePRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com>
wrote:

I remember when Stang used to actually talk about church doctrine and make up more crazy lies about "Bob". Now all he talks about is whatever the last party was he went to, or gossips about people I've never met.

Actually, if you think about it, I don't even bother to do THAT much anymore. I don't do much of anything, if you get right down to it.

AHHHHHHHHH!!

Wake me up when the chicks get here!

-- Copyright 2000 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 2nd Orthodox Stangian MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected: PO Box 19355 Cleveland OH 44119 The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.: PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack / PRABOB Fax: 216-738-0150 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I remember when From: mithril@iafrica.com (Grantland) Newsgroups: alt.slack Reply-To: mithril@iafrica.com Date: Tue, Apr 4, 2000 6:41 PM Message-ID: <38ea6f1c.395205534@ct-news.iafrica.com>

>--
>Copyright 2000 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 2nd Orthodox

heh heh
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I remember when From: mithril@iafrica.com (Grantland) Newsgroups: alt.slack Reply-To: mithril@iafrica.com Date: Tue, Apr 4, 2000 7:06 PM Message-ID: <38ea73ee.396439658@ct-news.iafrica.com>

modemac@modemac.com (Modemac) wrote:

ePRONO <nenslo@subgenius.com> wrote: I remember when Stang used to actually talk about church doctrine and make up more crazy lies about "Bob". Now all he talks about is whatever the last party was he went to, or gossips about people I've never met.

Well obviously, every single piece of doctrine in this Church has come from the lips and keyboard of Ivan Stang. And what a prolific guy he is, too! Why, he wrote *all* of the Book of the SubGenius and *all* of Revelation X and *all* of the Pamphlets. Not only that, but he also starred in *all* of the videos (dressing up in those woman suits with the fake tits was a real pain, too!) and he secretly posts to alt.slack under 23 different pseudonyms. I'm really Stang, by the way.

"Bob" is really Stang, too. In fact, if Stang didn't write it, then it didn't happen! --

Lies, and you know it. Stang didn't write a word of it. "Bob" wrote it. Stang is a burned out old parasite living off the word of "Bob". Without "Bob", he is nothing - NOTHING I SAY!! And if he deny it, let him so here.

Grantland
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Subject: Re: I remember when From: HellPope Huey <hphuey2000@my-deja.com> Newsgroups: alt.slack Date: Wed, Apr 5, 2000 12:51 PM Message-ID: <8cfqtj$76m$1@nnrp1.deja.com>

Well, I'd personally say that having a lovely blond on one arm, an adoring following on the other and the keys to Art Arfon's turbine-powered Green Monster hanging from the ring in your scrotum is a 'nothing' for which we should all strive. Any man who has not only been able to hold on to most of his childhood toys, but has turned his neuroses into an empire of Slack and uneven income is well-deserving of the RimJob of the Lord. I like it, it kinda tickles.

HellPope Huey,
"I'll take Crass Bastards for $200, Alex."

"Let's be clear: we ARE asking you to renounce your family, hand over all your money and then kill yourself, but be assured, no salesmen will call."

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy. ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I remember when From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@home.com> Newsgroups: alt.slack Reply-To: magdalen@subgenius.com Date: Wed, Apr 5, 2000 2:44 PM Message-ID: <38EB89C3.2445DED5@home.com>

ePRONO wrote:
>
> I remember when Stang used to actually talk about church doctrine and
> make up more crazy lies about "Bob". Now all he talks about is whatever
> the last party was he went to, or gossips about people I've never met.
> ZZZZzzzzzzz......

That's cuz he likes GURLS an GURLS like parties and people and funny things. ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I remember when From: onan@subgenius.com (Onan Canobite)

A big high five all the way from Lemuria for Magdalen.

- O.

-- Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite <onan@subgenius.com> http://www.subgenius.com/ Call Onan's Voice Mail Toll-Free 1-877-324-6289 (member 503-900-122) Send $30 unto The SubGenius Foundation Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 USA ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I remember when From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@home.com>

Back at ya, dude. Oh, we Connieites are well aware of the Old Doktors original plans to make the Church all-male, which the Ivangelicals thankfully did not pursue. CONNIE POWER IN THE DISCO HOUR, AYIEEEEEEEE!! ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I remember when From: Dave Zeriger <twgs@ShellYeah.Org> Newsgroups: alt.slack Date: Thu, Apr 6, 2000 9:14 AM Message-ID: <Z40H4.5093$n8.931576@news-east.usenetserver.com>

I don't remember anything. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I remember when From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com> Newsgroups: alt.slack Date: Thu, Apr 6, 2000 10:01 AM Message-ID: <060420000701179374%lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <38EB89C3.2445DED5@home.com>, Rev. Magdalen <magdalen@home.com> wrote:>

That's cuz he likes GURLS an GURLS like parties and people and funny things.

How disgusting! Why can't he like wymyn* like the rest of us?

* wymyn: Welsh for "squaw"

The Prophet Lilith

Subject: Re: I remember when From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> Newsgroups: alt.slack Date: Thu, Apr 6, 2000 12:49 PM Message-ID: <060420001249458948%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <8cfqtj$76m$1@nnrp1.deja.com>, HellPope Huey <hphuey2000@my-deja.com> wrote:

"Let's be clear: we ARE asking you to renounce your family, hand over all your money and then kill yourself, but be assured, no salesmen will call."

OR, ALTERNATELY, as Onan said at that nutty "underground pirate" radio station in the castle penthouse, "We'll come into your house and hold a gun to your head until you memorize "Bob's" Word -- FOR FREE!!"

Subject: Re: I remember when From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> Newsgroups: alt.slack Date: Thu, Apr 6, 2000 12:53 PM Message-ID: <060420001253222018%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <38EB89C3.2445DED5@home.com>, Rev. Magdalen <magdalen@home.com> wrote:

> That's cuz he likes GURLS an GURLS like parties and people and funny
> things.

Right! I actually HATE parties, people, and funny things, but I like GIRLS more than crazy lies about "Bob."

Because the crazy TRUTH of "Bob" is what's MOST IMPORTANT! "Bob" likes
girls and I want to be just like "Bob"! There's some Church doctrine
for ya Nenslo. ""Bob" likes girls." There's more, but you'll have to
PAY to hear THAT part.

Subject: Re: I remember when From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> Newsgroups: alt.slack Date: Thu, Apr 6, 2000 12:59 PM Message-ID: <060420001259324248%stang@subgenius.com>

>
> > ePRONO wrote:
> > >
> > > I remember when Stang used to actually talk about church doctrine and
> > > make up more crazy lies about "Bob". Now all he talks about is whatever
> > > the last party was he went to, or gossips about people I've never met.
> > > ZZZZzzzzzzz......

ZZZ-Day! Another excuse for a great SubGenius frat-house-like party. This time we'll make sure to invite ONLY people that Nenslo can be proved not to know.

And it'll be DORKS ONLY!! No "cool" "populars" allowed. Wait. No. That
would then make the DORKS, "COOL"! Then THEY wouldn't be allowed.

SHIT!! THE FUCKED LOGIC OF THIS WHOLE THING IS SUDDENLY CLEAR TO ME! The revolution CAN'T succeed. It's doomed by the intrinsic nature of the Conspiracy.

DISBAND THE CHURCH IMMEDIATELY!!! ALL FLEE IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS, OUTWARDS FROM THE GRAND DOBBSHEAD! FORGET THE PLAN! RUN!

ERASE! ERASE!

Subject: Re: I remember when From: "whyaskwhyaskwhy" <blackout@HORMELinfomagic.com>

But the star belly sneetches and the no-stars-upon-thars learned to live in peace and harmony after the fix-it-up-chappy took all their money and left. YOU COULD BE THAT CHAPPY! ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I remember when From: hiway@uswest.net (Ben Allen) Newsgroups: alt.slack Reply-To: hiway@uswest.remove.this.net Date: Thu, Apr 6, 2000 4:31 PM Message-ID: <au6H4.167$N72.4855@news.uswest.net>

On Thu, 06 Apr 2000 12:59:32 -0400, Rev. Ivan Stang <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
>
>DISBAND THE CHURCH IMMEDIATELY!!! ALL FLEE IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS,
>OUTWARDS FROM THE GRAND DOBBSHEAD! FORGET THE PLAN! RUN!
>
>ERASE! ERASE!
>

Sheah, and then we'd be like those trendy Discordian assholes. I thought the Church was supposed to be about people who hated those kind of idiots, huh? "Bob"-damn, could you be any MORE of a complete fucking sellout? Do you think it's even possible?

--
Ben Allen, hiway@uswest.remove.this.net

"Rainy days make you feel gloomy And sunny days make you feel happy But you can still have fun on a rainy day!" HOORAY!!!!!! GUN! ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I remember when From: Matthew Shiver <mshiver@home.com>

> And it'll be DORKS ONLY!! No "cool" "populars" allowed. Wait. No. That
> would then make the DORKS, "COOL"! Then THEY wouldn't be allowed.

The logical solution to the Dork Problem -- or would that be The Final Solution? -- would be to invite the dorks to the frathouse, but lock the doors and windows, and yell from inside about what great fun is being had. Boy, will those dorks be mad!!!

So... when do I get MY invite? Hell, I'm shining up my BEST pocket protector for the event!

Rev. The Crawling Chaos Nyarkoleptek The Church Of The Smoking Bowels Of Montezuma "Abusing the Public's Fear of Change Since 1994!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I remember when From: Unit 4 <UnitIV@SPUTUM.com> Newsgroups: alt.slack Reply-To: unit4@sputum.com Date: Fri, Apr 7, 2000 1:17 AM Message-ID: <vnrqesghqt8gml56ml6ds3rlndqcuc5v9p@4ax.com>

On Thu, 06 Apr 2000 12:59:32 -0400, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote, in alt.slack:

}DISBAND THE CHURCH IMMEDIATELY!!! ALL FLEE IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS,
}OUTWARDS FROM THE GRAND DOBBSHEAD! FORGET THE PLAN! RUN!
}
}ERASE! ERASE!

OK.

uh, can I have the Church Air tanks from the basement? ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I remember when From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <060420001259324248%stang@subgenius.com>, Rev. Ivan Stang <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

> The revolution CAN'T succeed. It's doomed by the intrinsic nature of
> the Conspiracy.

I thought the plan was to sell the Church to the Conspiracy, then arrange for a mass suicide within the Church. With any luck THEY will die off more than WE, especially if we quit as soon as the Church is bought.

> DISBAND THE CHURCH IMMEDIATELY!!! ALL FLEE IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS,
> OUTWARDS FROM THE GRAND DOBBSHEAD! FORGET THE PLAN! RUN!
>
> ERASE! ERASE!

Wait, I've lost my bearings! I don't know whether I'm running FROM the Dobbshead or TOWARDS the Dobbshead!

There's a Dobbshead over there! AIEEE!!!

WAIT. There's a Dobbshead over HERE, too!

Maybe if I spun in my chair, that'd be as good as running. QUICK! Help
spin my chair faster!

NO GOOD! I forgot about the Dobbshead tattooed on my scalp! I'm
TRAPPED!!!

Oh well. Praise "Bob" anyhow.

Subject: Re: I remember when From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

>
> uh, can I have the Church Air tanks from the basement?

We lied about that too. There's no Church Air in those, just the no-account leftover souls that the Yacatisma wouldn't take.

Subject: Re: I remember when From: Unit 4 <UnitIV@SPUTUM.com>

Aw hell.

Are they still good? I reckon I could animate a bunch of logs or rocks or something with them and put on a real purty nature show. ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I remember when From: HellPope Huey <hphuey2000@my-deja.com> Newsgroups: alt.slack Date: Sun, Apr 9, 2000 1:44 AM Message-ID: <8cp5cd$7qf$1@nnrp1.deja.com>

> NO GOOD! I forgot about the Dobbshead tattooed on my scalp! I'm
> TRAPPED!!! Oh well. Praise "Bob" anyhow.
>
> The Prophet Lilith

On yer SCALP, eh? Funny that you should mention that NOW.....

I remember when I was gonna shoot the shit out of this guy whom I grasped deep down really needed it and then I got my 1st Media Barrage and it turned me around and I let the guy live, which was ultimately a bad idea and how when I'm constipated my first original Church pamphlet on the decayomatic paper will loosen me right up and how they got mad at me in the psych ward because I wanted to read the PDR before I tolerated a prolixin injection, which makes you drool and be berry berry malleable for the staff but not much else, and how I need a pill the size of an ottoman but they still can't find one that works and even the niacin sucks I just get a fizzy, hot headrush and still wanna bite the heads off squirrels and spit them at the local screaming larvae and I'd move to British Columbia for the fropmarket but its too fucking cold and the only way left not to go postal is to rant live so maybe someone will off me after my last hail Bob because they're afraid I'm that way all the time but I'm not I just seethe and grow boils and I rub my arrowheads across them and the toxins kill off a deer like THAT but you have to cut away the meat around the wound because eating THAT would be bad juju and another thing I (trank dart enters thigh) HellPope falls off

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