X-Day averted by the Discordian Society

From: ghsst6@pop.pitt.edu (Geoff Spear) Newsgroups: alt.discordia,alt.slack Subject: X-Day averted by the Discordian Society Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 17:44:04 -0400

from the Greater Metropolitan Yorba Linda Herald-News-Sun-Tribune-Journal-Dispatch-Post and San Francisco Discordian Society Cabal Bulletin and Intergalactic Report & Pope Poop.

Sweetmorn, 40 Confusion 3164

In an unusual display of Discordian harmony, members of the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria joined forces with the JAMs, ELF, LDD, and the enigmatic MIB cabal to destroy a fleet of flying saucers, reportedly from the planet X, which was converging on Earth. It is alleged that the JAMs made use of their nuclear arsenal, although a spokesman for the group claims that the JAMs have no knowledge of any nuclear weapons being in the possession of any Discordian groups fnord.

Hagbard Celine, spokesman for the LDD, denies rumors that the UFOs which were destroyed this morning were the ones prophesized by the Church of the SubGenius. "It's just one of those coincidences, you know?" he said.

The Pentagon refused to comment on the reports of UFO activity, and categorically denied any relationship with the Discordians. A spokesman said only, "Lots of building have fives sides. It doesn't mean anything."

In a related story, it was reported this morning that J.R. "Bob" Dobbs is missing, and that the immense fortune of his SubGenius church has disappeared. Church officials were not available for comment. -- geoff spear | please respond via snail mail; http://www.pitt.edu/~ghsst6/ | i don't use computers.

From: lachance@bayreuth-online.de (Marc Lachance)

Small clarification here: we prefer to call ourselves the Ancient Enlightened Seers of Bavaria (Reformed). We were surprised that our information that we passed along was so accurate. We didn't expect the destuction to be THAT thorough. To be honest, we had feared that a lone survivor might have made it into range of this planet's radar net, causing less confusion.

Then "Nuclear Waste" wrote:

Don't forget the Argwuffles!

We in Bavaria didn't forget them. We still have some fnorded inside Castle Neuschwanstein and in the Nymphenburg. We owe a great debt to our former brethren who built the vualts in Mad King Ludwig's palaces...

-=-
Marc Lachance
"Fnord the fenching argwuffles!"
-=-

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