Independunce Day

From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) Subject: Re: Independunce Day Date: 14 Jul 1996 20:41:56 GMT

I finally saw that movie yesterday. I'm surprised that I haven't seen anybody point out that those aliens are a watered-down version of the Yacatisma, i.e., the Ysts, planet-eaters who -- AS IT SAYS SOMEWHERE IN ONE OF THOSE BOOKS -- could possibly arrive a few days BEFORE the Xists do, and fuck everything up.

(And just after the Pinks breathe their big sigh of relief on July 4, WHAMMO -- they wake up in EVEN WORSE SHAPE!!!)

As Papa Joe Mama pointed out, the movie is good for the Church. We WANT the humans to THINK they can win. Otherwise -- as Legume pointed out -- without their having some HOPE, what is there left for us to CRUSH? It would take all the fun out of it if they knew just HOW bad it'll be for them.

I must say I did enjoy the porno scenes of cities being fire-balled, even if I did get a little tireed of seeing cars flying through the air. It could have been more explicit, i.e., for crisping bodies.

The aliens themselves were PUSSIES!!! A real Yacatisma's FEET are as big as those wimps' whole MOTHERSHIPS!

I resented the fact that they played the Ivan Stang lookalike, the crazy scientist running Area 51, as a silly creep. But at least they had a drunk poebucker abductee save the planet in an almost Janorian manner.

Did ya'll like my special effects?

Stang

-- Copyright 1996 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc. PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack

From: dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)

On 07-14-96, i.stang@metronet.com wrote:

I resented the fact that they played the Ivan Stang lookalike, the crazy scientist running Area 51, as a silly creep. But at least they had a drunk poebucker abductee save the planet in an almost Janorian manner.

They wanted to use me, but SOMEONE told them I looked like a BIKER.

> Did ya'll like my special effects?

Excellent. I like the way your face zoomz in and out like a 3-D effect, in time to the music. How do you do that on a text-only newsreader?

* 2qwk! 2.0 * Every cloud has a wet spot.

--
Doktor DynaSoar Iridium -- dynasor@infi.net -- Punctuator of Evolution

From: nenslo@teleport.com (NENSLO)

I am totally amazed that anyone would see this movie and then spend even ONE SECOND listing flaws and inconsistencies, present company excluded. It lacked only a musical number to contain every possible string-puller. A brilliant work, a truly UNIFIED WHOLE. Wifey and I were choking in astonishment at every new gimmick - the last-minute wedding was a real killer. Logic? Rationale? Pardon my language but "fuck you." If you want logic go see a movie that doesn't have fifteen-mile wide flying saucers in it killing 90% of earth's population in one day. Plus, there's room for a thousand crappy sequels - there must be millions of survivors in every ship, providing endless opportunity for shots of sweating people with big guns running through the same two pieces of passageway set over and over, blasting into the fog at a twitching tentacle. Oddly, Godard's "Weekend" is essentially the same film. A string of acts of mindless violence held together with lots of noise and political jingoism. Same number of burning cars in both films.

From: 1Ol01O@radix.net (MegaLiz)

I saw it yesterday, too. The following ratings in no particular order:

Whiplash inducing insults to higher intelligence: 10

Acting by all assembled players: 7 (-3 for the fact that ANYBODY can handle gimme lines like, "Let's go kick some alien BUTT!")

Special effects: 10 (Would that there were only some SUSPENSE or INTEREST to the story. Gee whiz, do you suppose the president is gonna get outta there in time? Who CARES?)

Dialogue: 4 (and it's only that high because there were a few good yucks. Just COUNT how many times some unidentified character, such as "radioboy four" says, "Uh. Sir? You should take a look at this").

Butt Index: 1 (My butt fell asleep during the PREVIEWS. This most likely is the fault of the crappy multiplex seats and my bony butt. The movie did NOTHING to ease my pain, however).

For the most energetic death scene I can remember: 10 ("Oh honey, since I'm bleeding to death right now, I'd just like to tell you that you were right about everything." Yada, yada. As IF!)

Editing by and for epileptics: 10 (The use of super-short cuts was a nearly effective work-around for the lack of any real plot tension. Cut to hospital bed - but WAIT something interesting might begin to happen here so....Sploosh! Here we are in Iraq - and just as me might begin to get any sense of the character of these guys....WHAP! We're on the moon again).

The WASTE of good money just PISSED ME OFF. It shoulda been a CARTOON.

----------------------------------------------------------------- My sig is not under construction. It's deader than dead. But MY NEWSGROUP alt.foot.fat-free LIVES! Hear the pitter-patter! Thrill to the podiatry! While it lasts!

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