8-4-96 IRC Devival

<unibomber> well bobdammit! <THREEGEE> Maybe we should talk about Sivet and that will get Stang on line toot sweet! *** Mode change "+o Stang " on channel #subgenius by TheCharli <Jesus> You fag <friday-j> Bob damn it ALL! <TheCharli> oops... I meant to kick him... <unibomber> fuck yeah! <MegaLiz> ggg - 3 secs <friday-j> Why are we the only ones talking? <THREEGEE> is that good Meg <unibomber> hmmm... <E_Strange> Jesus - 1 sec <MegaLiz> ggg is good.

I am here. Finally.

<friday-j> MegEliz ... Mom ... can you hear me? <Jesus> Jesus 666 seconds <unibomber> i dunno...why dont we shut up and see if anyone else talks? <THREEGEE> What's that his refractory time? <MegaLiz> ggg: is good. I mean. <Esti> well i feel stupid <MegaLiz> FRIDAY! I CANT HERE YOOOO. <Jesus> Don't worry Esti, you are stupid <THREEGEE> so do we but we keep it to ourselves <Jesus> But that's not a BAD thing. <Esti> whew <Jesus> Especially when your a SUB genius <Modemac> Stang: You know the old adage about everyone else being figments of your imagination? Well, tonight it may be TRUE! Undernet sems to be having some serious connection problems tonight. <_dad_> hi <MegaLiz> hi dad! <_dad_> thanks for opping me Charlie <Jesus> Hey Stang why no talky..... something in your mouth? <TheCharli> not a problem..

Modemac -- yeah, it's taken me about half an hour.

<THREEGEE> Hello Ivan, how's yer two thirds of a soul? <MegaLiz> Friday: we have lag. big un. *** Mode change "+o Esti " on channel #subgenius by Modemac

I dunno, GGG, why don't you look in your refrigerator and check it.

<Esti> merci:) <Jesus> Nickie is standing next to me and she says hi. <_dad_> fucked up tonight! <Modemac> Geez, I haven't even been able to trade porn because of this lag. <Jesus> Actually she said something rude... <MegaLiz> Hi to Nikki. <THREEGEE> Stang: I only have a third in that pickle jar...?

Nicki and Jesus are on the other side of the factory from me, muttering.

<Jesus> but I decided to edit her. <_dad_> galaxy-wide

Aren't you guys supposed to be working?

<Esti> heh ill bbl *** Esti has left channel #subgenius <Jesus> Someone has too *** CTCP: MegaLiz sent a command: PING 839209539 <E_Strange> Stang...ran HOS 535 on Friday night with Pastor Craig,,,Big hit <Jesus> I mean someone has two. <THREEGEE> same old problem eh Ivan and you thought that you had problems before?

WHAT??? I thought you had 2/3 of the soul, GGG! If you only have ONE third --

WHERE'S THE OTHER???!? <Modemac> I *am* working. Wasting my life online takes a lot of effort. <MegaLiz> Grrrr. brb. *** Signoff: MegaLiz (Leaving)

No, I mean Jesus and Nicki are supposed to be working.

*** MegaLiz has joined channel #subgenius <THREEGEE> Ivan: that's what Im trying to tell you. I assumed YOU had sent agents to recover part of it, but now I must assume that (GULP) Sterno has it!!! <Jesus> Well I can't stay for all of tonights services.. so I'm gonna do a little update, spred some rumors and leave...

They are supervising the moving of the Manufacturing and Mail Order divisions

to a new factory down the road. <_dad_> hi Meg <Jesus> get ready. <_dad_> I mean bon soir <Jesus> We will have a new toll free number in 3 weeks.. It wil be for odering only. *** Signoff: unibomber (Norman-r.ok.us.undernet.org austin.tx.us.undernet.org) *** Signoff: friday-j (Norman-r.ok.us.undernet.org austin.tx.us.undernet.org) <Jesus> We are sort of half planning to be at Burning MAn in Nevada arouund the end of Aug. <E_Strange> Praise someone <_dad_> Oh well then Hi to Neekee *** Mode change "+o MegaLiz " on channel #subgenius by TheCharli <THREEGEE> Surely with Jesus at the helm the entire thing can be de-materialized and reassembled by holy and miraculous means!

GGG -- STERNO HAS MY SOUL-THIRD???!?!? Good LORD man. Do you realize what

that could mean? He's probably been sharing it with needle users!! <MegaLiz> Thanks TC. I am in my own orbit it seems. <Jesus> NeeKee says you must have figured out the ultimate secret behing her name. <MegaLiz> Lurch: 140 secs. sigh.

E_Strange: so you're running the shows on Friday nights?

<THREEGEE> Ivan: Yep, 'fraid so doc, and you know what kind of people Sterno's running with now, hellyour soul <Jesus> Ok more update let's see..... <THREEGEE> s probably being used as a jiz rag in a shooting gallery!

Jesus, I just posted a real boring update to alt.slack. About all the crap

we're selling. <Jesus> AOL is in the palms of our hands, I feel in just a short time we will own the entire corporation. If not then we'll continue to lower thier stocks untill we break them. <E_Strange> Yup....Got a couple of episodes from Craig until my order comes through *** unibomber has joined channel #subgenius

GGG -- listen man, Sterno trusts you as far as he'd trust anybody. Do you

think you could talk him into at least keeping it in a cooler or something? <THREEGEE> LAAAAAAAG!!!!! <Jesus> There is a rumor of an Akron Devial with Dr. Legume. <Jesus> The Xday drill home movie video has been compleated...

The Akron devival is a cruel trick on Bobbies. Legume will toy with them and

then hurt them. I cannot allow this sort of thing to go on. <Jesus> it's a two tape extravaganza...4 hours of sickness <Jesus> and nakidity. <Jesus> Yours for 20 a tape or two for 30.

What you said about Nickie's name... Nickie = NeeKee = NHGH...? AAAARRRGH!!!

That explains EVERYTHING! *** Signoff: unibomber (Read error to unibomber[~trashed@cnc80238.concentric.net]: Connection reset by peer) <THREEGEE> Ivan: I shall do my best...but you gotta get me those pix of Nikki and Miss S <Jesus> We're running a HOS radio promotion... <luurch> yeah. hard to be witty <_dad_> Jesus: I know ALL of her secrets... <_dad_> yeah, we don't want no commercial updates

It vas NEEKEEE what done eet...

-Modemac- DCC SEND xeno.jpg (199.70.37.183) *** DCC SEND (xeno.jpg) request received from Modemac *** redmenace has joined channel #subgenius <MegaLiz> brb AGAIN. *** Signoff: MegaLiz (Leaving) <_dad_> Gonna DCC some pix tonight? <Jesus> Any one who can force a new station to carry the HOS get one of our new Classic "Bob" T shirts. <redmenace> hola <THREEGEE> Jeus: I wanna go on record as saying those tee-shirts with Bob on the front and the anti-bob on the back are THE BEST GODDAMNED SHIRTS MADE: Two years and the two I have haven't shrunk wilted or wrinkled! <Jesus> But you have to do it with in three months.

The rude pics of NeeKheee are available in the new COMMERCIAL part of

SubSITE... $3.95 an hour. The download is kinda slow because the pics are 1.5 megs each. <Jesus> GGG, I have a note to send you a t-shirt is taht the one you want.. or do you have it? *** MegaLiz has joined channel #subgenius <THREEGEE> Sendit sendit sendit oh sweet jesus <Jesus> I will. This I promise. <Modemac> $3.95 an hour? What, did you set up a download section on AOL or something? <Jesus> Ok any more news???? *** Mode change "+o MegaLiz " on channel #subgenius by TheCharli

Good Lord, I just got some kind of feelthy jpg from Modemac.

<_dad_> Hey, how many of you have an OBE t-shirt? <THREEGEE> AAAAHHHHYES DEAR FRIENDS HAVE THE WORD OF JESUS! <THREEGEE> sHOW ME iVAN i WANNA SEE TOO! <MegaLiz> Thanks again TC. <Jesus> Oh the west half of the US will be getting thier interm reports in the next two to three weeks as we will be sendinging them out next week. <MegaLiz> Modem, more porn? *** DCC failed to connect. Try re-selecting the item and pressing Receive again. <Jesus> Ok I'm out... *** redmenace has left channel #subgenius <Jesus> Praise "Bob" *Modemac* I'm trying to send you that "porn" pic I was giving away last week - a magazine cover by Phil Foglio. Funniest porn I've seen in years! I'd post it to alt.binaries.slack, but that would be a copyright violation. <Jesus> and pass the frop. <_dad_> out of commercials? <THREEGEE> sTANG: sO iVAN, HOW WERE THE WICCANS AND PAGANS? <Jesus> I need to go get electrocuted.... <TheCharli> I have the cutest .wav file I can't access till my SCSI card is fixed.. <Jesus> and burnt....... <Jesus> again. *** Signoff: Jesus (Jesus) *** DCC failed to connect. Try re-selecting the item and pressing Receive again. <_dad_> yes, what about the PAGANS? <MegaLiz> The third rail is for JESUS <THREEGEE> Jesus has just left the network! <Modemac> Megaliz: Let me check. Hmm...there's that one-on-one session I had with The Amazing Randi, but it's kinda big. <MegaLiz> RANDI! <THREEGEE> Sendidt sendit

Modemac, I am having trouble receiving that thing...

<_dad_> amazing! <MegaLiz> I'm all over a teen! *** Signoff: luurch (luurch) *** DCC failed to connect. Try re-selecting the item and pressing Receive again. *Modemac* I'll try again. <THREEGEE> ME You don't think that he's calle dthe Amazing Randi fer nought? -Modemac- DCC SEND xeno.jpg (199.70.37.183) *** DCC SEND (xeno.jpg) request received from Modemac *** DCC connection established. <_dad_> Meg, what's the teen's name? <MegaLiz> Heh.

Okay Modemac, that one seems to be working.

<THREEGEE> what kinda name is Heh? <MegaLiz> The AR is pretty impressive. <Modemac> GGG: Truly amazing! And his writing is pretty good, too. <MegaLiz> He has PRESENCE. *** luurch has joined channel #subgenius <MegaLiz> and presents. <TheCharli> brb *** Mode change "+o luurch " on channel #subgenius by TheCharli <MegaLiz> LURCH! *** TheCharli has left channel #subgenius <luurch> meg!! <THREEGEE> meglurch! <luurch> thanks dad <E_Strange> Stang...Have you decoded the Pope Meyer hidden message yet? <THREEGEE> stangmodemacfridaymeglurchjack <luurch> can I borrow the shoes? <MegaLiz> We are not lagged! much! <MegaLiz> Now I'm only stoopid! <THREEGEE> where did you go Liz? <MegaLiz> GEEMEG!

Okay, Okay... boy this stuff confuses me... I think IRC is a young person's

game. <luurch> I had a megalunch <luurch> power lunch

GGG, the pagan witch trash shit went great, considering that I had to WORK

most of the time. <luurch> the slad barbarian <MegaLiz> I'm still here. but stoopid. <_dad_> c'mon Stang, get with the program! <MegaLiz> My jaws are tired. <luurch> slad the impaler

The bonfire they burned the babies on was hotter than a witch's teat.

<MegaLiz> Gotta type with me chin. <Modemac> There are some real advantages to being stupid, you know... <THREEGEE> Stang: You WORK? Pardon my incredulity ole pal, but YOU <luurch> huh? <_dad_> burned babies huh? <MegaLiz> Stang: you need a vacation from these vacations. <Modemac> When you're STUPID, you can just go through life not realizing how you're being dumped on every day. <THREEGEE> and Work don't go together <Modemac> When you're STUPID, you can see things in simple black and white, good guys vs. bad guys. It must be a nice feeling... <MegaLiz> Modemom: lets be REALLY EXTRA STUPID.

Well look, GGG, they PAY me to attend these nude sex fests... but ranting

isn't enough. I also have to videotape the baby sacrifices and I have to service the high priestesses. <_dad_> infinito stupido <luurch> Yeah, and laugh at sitcoms <MegaLiz> Blessed are the extra dumb. <THREEGEE> Hey I'm stupid and I see things in living color

Unfortunately, "servicing" these "high priestesses" is NOT all it's cracked

up to be. <luurch> be proud to qualify for mastercharge <MegaLiz> And give up and go bowling. <Modemac> GGG: Well, there's an exception to every rule. <MegaLiz> L: LOL! <THREEGEE> So that's work Ivan? I mean spreading the seed of Dobbs is WorK? <luurch> cracked up? <_dad_> Stang: what's wrong with the HPs? <luurch> They are HIGH priestesses <MegaLiz> Do I wanna know this? <MegaLiz> Are there classes? <_dad_> and what's with the crack?

The seed of Dobbs spreads itself. It's being polite to all the tiresome naked

people that gets old. *** DCC transfer completed. *** server has joined channel #subgenius <THREEGEE> High means smells bad in olde englishe <MegaLiz> Hard to be polite to nekkid people?

And I get tired of all the free drugs. I don't even LIKE free drugs.

*Modemac* Should be all set. *** server is now known as Chris-Lee <THREEGEE> most naked people are tiresome Stang, it goes with the nudity! <_dad_> polite...I get it *** Signoff: E_Strange (ann-arbor.mi.us.undernet.org Chicago-1.IL.US.Undernet.org) <THREEGEE> Well you COULD have shared the free drugs with yer plas, but nooooooooo.! <MegaLiz> Ah. To be naked and stupid! <Modemac> You mean Congress is actually naked? <MegaLiz> Those were the days@! <_dad_> nakedland is stupid <THREEGEE> Not naked and stupid naked and tiresome!

Modemac -- the xeno jpg is psychedelic as all get-out but it doesn't look

like anything. I think it got scrambled. <Modemac> Shit. <MegaLiz> stupidland is duh. something. <THREEGEE> shitland is Duh <MegaLiz> Congress may well be naked. But only at work. <_dad_> what's your plas? <luurch> Stompah land got Stukka'd <MegaLiz> implasible. <THREEGEE> a shot of bourbon and a sleevejob dad!

Legume got pissed off at the Pagans before Starwood had even gotten underway.

He planted some kind of bomb underneath the bonfire location but apparently the timer got fried. <Modemac> These DCC transfers sure don't live up to their reputation... <_dad_> scrambled xeno - yum yum <MegaLiz> try again stang. it's worth it. <THREEGEE> Stang: I told that Legume Boy he wasn't ready for the big time hugger mugger yet!

Modemac, I think maybe the thing to do is email it later.

*** MegaLiz has changed the topic on channel #subgenius to Where stupid people GO TO DIE! <THREEGEE> Where's Tommy oDell?

You know how Legume is with his "toys." First that big machine gun and now

the pyrotechnics. <MegaLiz> Pagan piss everyone off. <Modemac> Stang: Of course, it will mean having to wade through that mountain of email to get to the picture...

Modemac, I answered 57 emails today... Of course they DO tend to stack up.

<THREEGEE> Stang: Yes, but then again Legume's zeal for destruction is certainly to be encouraged and rewarded! <MegaLiz> I'll mail it for you Modem.

GGG, I sent you two narsty old mattressback Wanda jpegs today, as well as

some fine art. <Modemac> I know the feeling. *** Action: _dad_ recalls getting email from Stang today <MegaLiz> Stang: did ya hear from my brother? <Modemac> Megaliz: Thank you.

GGG, you know the Richmond clench led by Groovy G has schizmed -- they're

all-Legume, all-kill-the-pinks. <THREEGEE> Stang: I haven't even been on line today before this verbal jerkle sirc! <MegaLiz> I feel the knowing.

They are calling for OUR deaths along with all the Pinks. They're like a

nutty militia group.

Legume refuses to discourage them.

<MegaLiz> Okay. Anybody else want some FIRST CLASS porn? <THREEGEE> Well I say let 'em come Ivan: ole GGG still got a little junior <_dad_> sure, I'm always game for whatever's on the menu <luurch> I'll settle for coach <MegaLiz> Lurch: didya get xeno already?

MegaLiz -- yes indeedy, your brother sent one of the most bizarre letters I

have EVER received, and that's saying a lot. He is NOT however the youngest SubGenius at 11. <luurch> no <THREEGEE> Meg: I don't even have a pornograph!

I also got the Bob-AntiBob artwork you sent, thanks, it was refreshingly

stark. <_dad_> my kid's 8 <MegaLiz> Stang: it's his. <Modemac> Well, let's see if this works, 3G... <MegaLiz> Yours now. <MegaLiz> Who's the youngest subg? <_dad_> baby, I bet <MegaLiz> I'll bet Argon is the youngest that's up to slave labor.

The youngest SubGenius is the glint in Legume's eye. FEAR FOR OUR FUTURE!!!

<MegaLiz> He'll draw for NUTHIN. <Modemac> Let's specify that. Who is the youngest PAID-UP SubGenius? *** E_Strange has joined channel #subgenius <MegaLiz> He'll draw real good for NUTHIN. <_dad_> can't somebody kill Legume for real?

Actually, Jesus and I had several 6 year olds helping with our mass-mailing

during the Slack Crusade. They literally work for peanuts.

Legume probably CANNOT die, not as we know "death." I suppose this Argon might be the youngest paid-up Member.

<_dad_> salted? <luurch> beer nuts? <_dad_> honey roasted <MegaLiz> brb <THREEGEE> stang is the eternal child younger than allexcept Bob! <THREEGEE> got the file Mode <luurch> spanish, wid the nasty skins on <_dad_> ooh <Modemac> Actually, 3G, it's still coming through. It's 120K... <THREEGEE> Mode: yeah I meant to say it was coming through! <Modemac> 3G: Gotcha. <MegaLiz> Argon is making me send a check tomorrow. <_dad_> how old Argon then? <Modemac> BTW, Jesus, I forgot to thank you for the free porn that came with my package o' stuff. It's a fucking MIRACLE, it is! <MegaLiz> He's angelic. I hate to let you people get your filthy PAWS on him. <luurch> how old he now? <MegaLiz> Argon is 11.

So that's all people do on IRC, send filthy pictures around? What about sober

discussions regarding the repercussions of Dobbs' messages? What of "...but it's almost as bad"??? <luurch> really? he draw pretty good <MegaLiz> he's the mozart of art <_dad_> Jesus ain't here <MegaLiz> drawed good at 4

Jesus just left Chicago and he's bound for New Orleans.

<Modemac> Who wants to be sober? Being sober when online almost makes that idiotic concept of "surfing" the Net sound plausible. <_dad_> is "Bob" a drummer too? <THREEGEE> Well you hit the nail right on the old dobbhead Ivan, it's a sad and sorry state of affairs when we sink to this level! <MegaLiz> I don't wanna talk about "BOB" OR fucking Stang.

Jesus and Nickie really are supervising a fleet of trucks carrying all the

swag out of the corporate hindquarters and over to the new factory facility. <Modemac> Well, 3G, either that picture came through or you're going to get a bunch of static.

We felt it would be better for morale were the worker types and the executive

types separated. <MegaLiz> I'll send static. Who wants static?

Dobbs was Gene Krupa's understudy just before Krupa's unfortunate run-in with

the law.... "reffer possession" I believe it was. <luurch> me. I look good with my hair up <MegaLiz> Rub rub. <THREEGEE> well I got it mode, just need to figure out t where the hell it is!

Modemac, the static you sent me really did look pretty cool.

<_dad_> my radio station is only 1111 watts. don't need more static <MegaLiz> Stick ya to the wall now. <luurch> va de grafmann <MegaLiz> Ha. <luurch> nice view <Modemac> test test... <MegaLiz> It's only temporary. THUD. Sorry. <MegaLiz> You wiggled. <luurch> carpet dirty

Dobbs also played bongos in a sort of beatnik combo he was in in the early

60s, a proto-Wotan band that later became "Bob" Dobbs and the Doo-Wops. <luurch> crawlies <MegaLiz> Mail me a VAC! <_dad_> reffer possession...what are you refferring to? <MegaLiz> Where's my new and improved exterminator VAC? <luurch> mail me a female <luurch> send me abroad

To my knowledge, Dobbs does not play any other musical instrument although

there are those who SWEAR to having heard him perform extremely complex sonatas on a violin while very drunk. <THREEGEE> howabout spain lurch <_dad_> like crazy daddio <Modemac> Lag...

Dad, I was refering to Gene Krupa the famous jazz drummer having been an

early frop bustee, like Robert Mitchum. <luurch> cool <THREEGEE> Au Contraire dear Ivan: Dobbs can play a comb and tissue paper very well <MegaLiz> Somebody iced Modemac. <THREEGEE> speak of frop busts Ivan, are you gonna tellus about that ONE TIME!!! <Modemac> 3G: Check the setup of your " <THREEGEE> he's still here <Modemac> ...check the setup of your "download" section in your IRC client. <_dad_> Bbbut isn't "Bob" the piper? I mean the fiddler?

Oh, "reffer," I get it. No I meant reefer. Dobbs had cured Krupa of reffer

addiction months before the pot incident. Reffer killed my brother. *** Blaxx has joined channel #subgenius <luurch> Meg: still trying to get the bugs out of it <MegaLiz> Ha. <Blaxx> Anybody home? <luurch> sorry. left for a minute *** Signoff: E_Strange (Chicago.IL.US.Undernet.org austin.tx.us.undernet.org) <_dad_> "Bob" plays killer speed metal guitar <Modemac> Nobody home, Blaxx. <MegaLiz> Modem: get on springfield.mo.

Well, these Online Services just aren't the same without pert little Friday

Jones constantly making wisecracks about my dicks, or my family's dicks. <Modemac> I'm still here, Megaliz...just got a spate of lag. <_dad_> we're all home <THREEGEE> Oh Ivan you're just grumpy because nobody is talking about your dicks <MegaLiz> Blaxx: sorry we ate your mom. <Chris-Lee> mentally or physically <luurch> honey, I porked the kids <THREEGEE> we ate he both ways chrislee

There was an amazing scene in REBOOT episode wherein the surrogate "Bob"

character, Bob, plays killer speedmetaldeath guitar... dueling guitars with Megabyte. It was a secret refference to Dobbs' guitar ability. <MegaLiz> Modem: 158 secs <MegaLiz> Who killed Friday? *** Action: _dad_ recalls Friday being here just a half hour ago <MegaLiz> Where/when is Friday/ <luurch> Restless natives <_dad_> she lost her connection I think <THREEGEE> Friday connected and disconnected about thirty godzillion times I think she was having under-problems <_dad_> Stang: yes!!

Unfortunately Dobbs can only play guitar while overdosing on barbiturates. A

trick he learned from Hendrix. <Blaxx> Wow...I've been cloned... <THREEGEE> Yeah but he does really great riffs as they pump out his stomach!

You know, the WAY that Hendrix died is what PROVES he was a SubGenius and not

a Genius. He fucked up. I mean he really pulled a Janor. <MegaLiz> Why oh Why do I keep /pringing instead. <MegaLiz> Must be the sttoopidness again.

SPEAKING OF JANOR!!! JANOR ALERT!!

<MegaLiz> Modem: 42 secs. <Chris-Lee> I've always imagined Dobbs could play a mean jew's harp <MegaLiz> JANOR/ <MegaLiz> ? <Modemac> What happened? Did Janor suddenly get online and drive everyone out of alt.tasteless? <_dad_> Janor...where is that boy? <THREEGEE> Meg why don't you quit that pinging around and yak with the rest of us??

Janor just MOVED to Los Angeles! This is the first time that the Hypercleats

has ever left Little Rock for longer than 2 weeks. Perhaps he will be DISCOVERED and become rich and blow the rest of us off. <luurch> yak <MegaLiz> I like to ping! <MegaLiz> It's more PERSONAL. <_dad_> perhaps Janor will join the homeless <THREEGEE> Oh I see, well sorry!

Dobbs DID (now that I think of it) win the Grand Old Opry Jew's Harp

compitition and Rabbit Supper back in '57. <Modemac> Los Angeles? As if Hollywood didn't have enough problems... <THREEGEE> I can see Janor now, shooting up smack in that rat infeasted hotel where we had that devival that one time! <MegaLiz> Why LA? <_dad_> So in other words, Dobbs can play every instrument ever invented. is that is? <Blaxx> it's OK...everone eats my mom

Janor got a new job getting signatures on petitions for a buck a signing.

He's found he's good at it. They sign to get rid of him. *** Blaxx is now known as E_Strange <luurch> bagpipes? <_dad_> sure <THREEGEE> Dad: he can also play some that haven't been invented yet

GGG, I doubt if Janor can afford to live in that rat infested hotel.

<MegaLiz> E_Strange: you are WAY lagged. <_dad_> 3G: I'm sure of that as well <MegaLiz> So Jayner is in a car? <THREEGEE> So Stang: Is janor getting sigs in ellay or is he there to Break into showbiz (Dobbshelpusall)?

Janor had the choice of 2 months' work in LA or 1 month in Cleveland and went

for the L.A. one. He is being housed by a fresh new Janor collector. <luurch> exterminator vac <MegaLiz> Vroom. <THREEGEE> Well I dunno Ivan if I was given the choice between Ellay and cleveville...well <luurch> take home a sack <MegaLiz> NONO. <MegaLiz> Don't start that shit again. <MegaLiz> PULEEZ. <luurch> Scared ya, huh? <THREEGEE> ALLRIGHT LUURCH KNOCK THAT OFF RIGHT NOW!!! <MegaLiz> Yep.

GGG -- it's just a job. He hopefully will do some comedy club stuff in his

spare time. He'll probably end up sleeping under Mothersbaugh's computers. <THREEGEE> me too <MegaLiz> and how! <luurch> Okay, but that made a mess <THREEGEE> Well that wouldn't be so bad, especially if Nancy is around <Modemac> Who would want to collect Janors? One is more than enough... *** vox has joined channel #subgenius *** vox has left channel #subgenius <MegaLiz> brb spunky's got a cough. <_dad_> I hear vodka cures that <THREEGEE> you better lay on her untill she feels better! <luurch> going around

The horror of it is that Janor bears within his own vagina NORAJ, the

AntiJanor, his clever evil twin who is rich and humorless. <THREEGEE> vodka cures ALL Dad!

And inside Ronaj is another Janor, and so on unto the 144th Janor.

<THREEGEE> Wait a minute stang aren't you confusing Janor with Jains. <luurch> factorial

When the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse burst from the sealed foreskin of

the Last Janor (tiniest particle in the Universe), the world will "end." <MegaLiz> She's finally asleep. I'm not gonna sit on her. <THREEGEE> No no you got that part wrong <_dad_> I've got one of them 144th Janor's in my freezer

Now the NADS on a 144th Janor are GOOD EATIN'. RARE and EXPENSIVE, but better

than fetus nads.

Hell Xandy just LEFT a jar of 144th Janor Nads in the icebox until they

ROTTED. He could've just let me eat 'em but NO. <THREEGEE> I had one but it turned a funny color, got all puffy and wasn't funny any more! <_dad_> right next to the vodka <luurch> I had one <luurch> threw him out <MegaLiz> puffy Janor bits: a new cereal sensation? <luurch> clawed up the jello <THREEGEE> hey dad: bewar ronaJ crossover infestation of your vodka, you might get nine-inch worms <THREEGEE> what a funny fell-o <_dad_> stays puffy even in milk <THREEGEE> and is NEVER soggy <MegaLiz> Defies the garbage disposal though. <E_Strange> Every home needs a Janor or two <MegaLiz> better eat it ALL. <_dad_> chews up the damn disposal <luurch> snaps, crapples and poops

RONAJ is a really frightening individual. Janor himself is a real nice guy

but when Noraj comes out it's a bummer. <MegaLiz> Can't GIVE the stuff away. <Modemac> Sounds like rodan. <THREEGEE> Did you know that in Brazil little kids sell FAKE janor nads on every street corner? <MegaLiz> If you don't buy, then... <luurch> jumpin nads <MegaLiz> just add water! <MegaLiz> it GROWS <THREEGEE> nOT ONLY THAT BUT THEY HAVE THE EFFRONTERY TO CLAIM THEY ARE PREPARED ACCORDING TO THE RECIPE OF A NOBLEMAN OF THE cOUNRT

Noraj and Janor are like Siamese Twins, joined at some of the dicks. Wre

there no Janor PUSSY, Ronaj would just be dangling off in front of Janor's fly, probably clinging on or sitting in a sling. Ronaj is about a foot tall. <_dad_> depends whose foot... <THREEGEE> but surely an application of kasnterheads will clean things up! <E_Strange> If you love your Janor, let him go, If he dosen't come back, your lucky!

It is the foot of a nobleman of the court.

<THREEGEE> der stompenfuut <_dad_> I see <_dad_> no I don't <luurch> he come back, he's urine <_dad_> urine luck <MegaLiz> Heh. <THREEGEE> AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHQ11111 <MegaLiz> Get the paddles.

You can get pretty good Janor-nad-LIKE nads in Hong Kong. There's a Chinese

guy who's apparently their version of Janor-Ronaj-Anjor-etc.etc.... these are canned and are found in fancy Chinese/Japanese supermarkets in the north part of town. <luurch> and the canoe <THREEGEE> my new suede shooze *** E_Lizard has joined channel #subgenius <MegaLiz> GGG is off the charts. Whack 'em. <THREEGEE> whackem? *** E_Strange has left channel #subgenius *** Shortdog has joined channel #subgenius *** Action: MegaLiz is suspicious of the E_Lizard *** Shortdog has left channel #subgenius <THREEGEE> why Megaliz are you suspicious? <E_Lizard> What lowlife pink jerquoff made this invitation only 2 nights ago??? <_dad_> yes, tell us please <MegaLiz> Just my nature.

What "cute words" did your parents use for "SHIT" when you were little? My

dad called shit "GUMGOWACKEM" when I was a toddler. <_dad_> no invitation necessary <MegaLiz> E_Lizard: We will decapitate at your leisure. <THREEGEE> jerquoff wasn't he a little french tailer <_dad_> my dad always said "crap"

Jerquoff, yeah, in Les Mis.

<MegaLiz> Gumgo? <THREEGEE> Mine said'Oh look you bad boy you did an Ivan right there in yer pants"! <MegaLiz> That's a novel one. <luurch> fed him molasses <luurch> mole asses <MegaLiz> Mom always pretty much said, "shit".

I used to tell Xandy they were his "little brown brothers."

<E_Lizard> We had Poopie... <MegaLiz> GGG:HA <luurch> dukey

That's sort of like "cutting a Philo".

<THREEGEE> what ever happened to old number two fer dobbsake? <Modemac> Here's a site to visit: http://www.boardwatch.com/mag/96/july/bwm27.htm <luurch> little brown brothers? <MegaLiz> GGG: dunno? <THREEGEE> yeah or whuppin' yer Sterno! <_dad_> that would make PEE supreme <MegaLiz> My folks couldn't count that high. <Chris-Lee> Number 6 whupped his ass and became No. 1

I just wondered if anybody else on the planet outside the Stang family ever

used that term "GUMGOWACKEM." <_dad_> Chris: you should talk to Pete Hipwell about that Prisoner fixation <THREEGEE> Oh we're on that olympics riff again! <MegaLiz> At our house it was number one and "that other thing" <MegaLiz> brb <Chris-Lee> dad: fixation? <Modemac> Just checked my email to see that Stang commented on Rev. Walter Grant getting busted by the feds... <_dad_> wiping your Gordon <_dad_> I doubt it <THREEGEE> Stang: who else but perhaps Jonathan Swift would be deranged enough to use gungowhackem, sounds <E_Lizard> Tell me about walter GranT...

Around here he's Rev. WV Grant, heard on K-SKY The Voice of the Gospel. He's

a hell of a preacher with an intense West Texas accent. GREAT stuff. We've ripped him off plenty on old tapes... <Modemac> Well, he WAS a hell of a preacher, unless he can do his show from jail. <THREEGEE> like something you'd get on yer show on a voyage to Balnibarni, Lapunta and Glubbdubbdribb *** unibomber has joined channel #subgenius <E_Lizard> and they think he did what?

Wow, my machine just made a very very strange sound.

<Modemac> So you used Grant as a role model for some of your radio sermons?

I have never heard anything like it. It was like a very soft sigh. Scariest

thing I've ever heard from a hard drive. <_dad_> Hey, I gotta take a wicked GUMGOWACKEM and get to bed...see you guys next time *** Signoff: _dad_ (Read error to _dad_[pool008.Max12.Boston.MA.DYNIP.ALTER.NET]: Connection reset by peer) <Modemac> I think that's "Laputa." But I always prefered the land of the Houyhouyhnhnms. <E_Lizard> HEh Heh... <Modemac> Your hard drive is still working (else you wouldn't be reading this), so it shouldn't be too bad... <MegaLiz> It's not my fault. I may have spit out a jelly bean, though. *** Signoff: luurch (luurch) <THREEGEE> who let that horse online? *** CTCP: E_Lizard sent a command: SOUND RECORD.WAV * File: RECORD.WAV * Size: 286,694 * Random pick! <MegaLiz> Sighs are bad. <MegaLiz> Groans are worse.

I'm thinking of crashing too. I haven't had much sleep. I try to avoid

sleeping... I've been having terrible Gordons lately. <MegaLiz> If it says "OHMYGOD" get outta the house. <unibomber> evil, evil IRC... <unibomber> hehehe <Modemac> Storytellers always talk about Gulliver going to Lilliput and sometimes Brobdingnag, but they never mention the part where he goes to a land of intelligent horses and decides that it's Utopia, better than human civilization... *** luurch has joined channel #subgenius <MegaLiz> LURCH! <luurch> MEG!! <luurch> I keep getting bumped *** Mode change "+o E_Lizard " on channel #subgenius by Modemac *** Mode change "+o luurch " on channel #subgenius by Modemac <E_Lizard> Whoa!!! <THREEGEE> Stang. your haemmorrhivans are probably bothering you again, you out to keep yer Scmitt cleaner! *** Mode change "+o unibomber " on channel #subgenius by Modemac <MegaLiz> Random WAV?

Yesterday I had my Mac reciting the Prescriptures. It was using one of the

MacTalk built-in voices, "Bad News." Sounded really good. But the only way I can think of to make it work cross-platform is to just record it on a tape and make THAT into a wav f *** Mode change "+o Chris-Lee " on channel #subgenius by Modemac <THREEGEE> whooo! <E_Lizard> !luurch record.wav <MegaLiz> I'm trying to deduce what the lil girls will do in the a.m. <MegaLiz> They stayed up late. Will I get lucky? <MegaLiz> Will they sleep? <luurch> hope so <MegaLiz> Will I get tossed on the floor at 6? *** Signoff: unibomber (Write error to unibomber[cnc098032.concentric.net], closing link) <luurch> hope not <MegaLiz> This could be a very ugly thing. <THREEGEE> No surely not, especially if you are trying to <luurch> take video

CRIPES I've been sitting here for an HOUR!!! I need COFFEE!!! I need to lay

in bed and read the LAST WILD CARDS book. Dunno what I'm gonna do if they don't come out with a new one. <THREEGEE> Oh like Stang's dick? <MegaLiz> How does it sound,Stang. <THREEGEE> Stang: heheheheheheh!!!

Yeah, damn you Gordon, it was you that gave me that first Wild Cards book.

I've read through all 13 TWICE now. *** Shortdog has joined channel #subgenius *** Shortdog has left channel #subgenius *** CTCP: MegaLiz sent a command: PING 839213524 *** E_Lizard has changed the topic on channel #subgenius to What ARE you looking at? <MegaLiz> OH! I forgot to BRAG. I haven't smoked diddly for a WEEK.

SHIT!!! I've only got 4 cigs left. I'll HAVE to go to bed.

<THREEGEE> Well, as the boilpus sucker said to his client after draining the big on on his scrotum, I've had about alol the fun I can take fer one evening, by the way Liz how does diddly feel about this! <Modemac> Go back to reading Marvel comics? *** unibomber has joined channel #subgenius <THREEGEE> Stang: frap up dude...stick another patch on, take an nicotine enema and relax! <MegaLiz> GGG: Terrribly sad, I'm sure. *** Shortdog has joined channel #subgenius <unibomber> EVIL.. *** Shortdog has left channel #subgenius <MegaLiz> I'm hardly even MEAN even. <unibomber> bobdammit...evil, EVIL IRC

I will leave you all with a thought. This morning, you tied your shoes. But

perhaps the undertaker will be untying them tonight. WILL YOU BE READY?? *** Mode change "+o unibomber " on channel #subgenius by E_Lizard <THREEGEE> Alas poor diddly....well I think I shall fold my tent and steal silently into the night! <THREEGEE> Bye boys 'n gurls and you too Ivan! <MegaLiz> Who is the shortdog and why does it want to be here? *** Signoff: E_Lizard (Read error to E_Lizard[aat3vt.smart.net]: Connection reset by peer) <luurch> get a long little doggie *** ICEKNIFE has joined channel #subgenius <THREEGEE> like a dachshund? <MegaLiz> GGG: Sweat dreams! <luurch> I knowed him well <luurch> night ggggggg

Original file name: SubG IRC 8-4-96

This file was converted with TextToHTML - (c) Logic n.v.