YOUR SUBGENIUS HERITAGE

“And the ape and the man exist in one body; and when the ape’s desires are about to be fulfilled, he disappears and is succeeded by the man, who is disgusted with the ape’s appetites.” —Colin Wilson, The Outsider

“Give me slack or kill me.” —The late St. Sterno Keckhaver of Drs. for “Bob” to a rebellious intern just prior to the 1982 World SubCon performance, at which he was killed.

§PART 1: INTERVIEW WITH THE OVERMAN

Subgeniuses came from a better world and they’re going to a better world.

They descended from Abominable Snowmen and will evolve overnight (on some evening in late 1998) into OverMen and OverWomen. It is an unbroken line of continuous change, as opposed to that of Pinks, who are an evolutionary dead-end and have been spinning their wheels as mere humans for the last million years or so.

The goal of any SubGenius, besides SLACK, is to somehow live until 1998, when he or she will be CHANGED into what might as well be a “superhero”—possessed of mental and bodily powers practically unknown to Man today.

If you cleave to “Bob,” you will see magic come to pass in your life. HOWEVER …

Only Xist technology can complete a SubGenius’s transfiguration into OverManhood or OverWomanliness, and so far “Bob” has allowed this to happen to one solitary guinea pig—his friend, Dr. Philo Drummond. But someday, when the Angelic Host descends, we will all make this great Leap into Tomorrow.

It is important that we know what lies ahead, then … after we have been given Doktorhood in Dobbstown, after our Initiation in the Xist Rescue Ships. What is this fabled “Overman?”

OverMania is a changed physique, yes: the huge cranium, the permanent smile, the powers of flight and invisibility, the great Cough of Command. But it is far more than that. Above all, it is a state of mind.

The only way to capture even the most fleeting flavor of this unique mental state is to let Dr. Drummond tell of it in his own words. This, the only published interview with the OverMan after transformation, is directly transcribed from tapes made in Dobbstown during the 1980 rainy season. Read, then, and savor the nuances of that which is closest to “BOB!”

(Interview conducted by The Nameless SubGenius using an Überbrow™ Voice Transponder with wellmanized cassettes; normal recording techniques result in garbled tapes due to the OverMan’s auraic ‘field’.)

SG: Is An OverMan really more intelligent than a human being? In what ways?

PD: It is a visionary superiority … cutting through the bullshit, which makes it easier to spread bullshit. By pulling the wool over your own eyes, you become aware that THERE IS WOOL, and know better how to pull it over the eyes of others. This is the first step to enlightenment.

SG: What about the transformation? How often, what happens?

PD: It can occur at will or spontaneously, of its own accord. When the transfiguration occurs, the cancerous preservative chemicals my human self has taken in are expelled through every pore of my body, covering me in that sheen of unnatural juices, but basically leaving in me only the Essence of Health and ‘Frop. I can then will my genes to bend as I so desire, and the Time Barrier hinders me not.

SG: Why does the head enlarge? Brains?

PD: Not so much those as glands. Some of the intelligence is on chips, imbedded within the brain. Such as the OverMan Head Map. Maps of every major metropolitan area are available to my Inner Eye, all on one chip. So if I, say, must make a fast getaway from Bangladesh…however without the retrieval mechanism handy, full Transfiguration must be achieved first before I can ‘read’ them.

SG: I understand that for OverMen, ritual excremeditation is different?

PD: Yes. We achieve pure, heavenly cytorspasm in excremeditation. The pancreative juices of the fluunads…they back up to the pituitary brainpan, causing it to backfire unless there is a bowel-lifter installed, with a 468 hemi dual-rounder. This causes nodules on the brain, and around those nodules the cranium rearranges itself, answering your earlier question. It creates a feeling of overwhelming phlegmaticism. Inhumanly gratifying.

SG: What kind of diet is preferable?

PD: To begin with you must understand that a true OverMan can perform Discriminative Elimination and Selective Excretion. He can pass not only fecessions of whatever shape, texture, odor, size and velocity he chooses, but through the Yoke of Excremeditation can also reconstitute the food eaten earlier. This is “Going into Overspurt.” He can expel entire sandwiches, steaks, salads…as if unchewed! Many think that eating a pineapple would be painful for me. Yes, it does remain a Whole Pineapple, but it does not tear through…To expel a pineapple I merely turn myself partially inside out. The opening itself moves around the

pineapple, delicately, precisely, much like laying an egg. It still tickles but many consider this the most delightful and insipid realm of the unconscious mind.

SG: I hope this isn’t too personal, but what about sex? Many have asked.

PD: It is true that the OverMan penis has a literal “Mind of its Own.” This may account for the “Mean Bob” I have heard the bearers whisper of. I don’t know.

SG: Have you actually seen beheadings in Church rituals?

PD: No. No. All that is pure fiction. No violence, no blood, no balls in vises, no pain. The pain comes strictly through mind absorption.

SG: What about Tantric Sex?

PD: No pain. No pain.

SG: Is there an Afterlife? A realm of spirits?

PD: The Paradise of the heathen Undergods of Valhalla … available only to a select few. Already predetermined. We were ALL in the Beforelife … will be again … but only a few in the Afterlife. Things there are MORE REAL than on Earth … colors are like jacked-up TV color. You keep your full personality and then some.

SG: There are greater and lesser gods besides Wotan?

PD: Like the Romans: the headache god, the hangover god, the garbage god…one for every purpose. None are The God with a capital G. They all have small g’s. Wotan as a gGod is somewhere between the large and small G. It’s all a question of punctuation.

SG: “Bob’s” stance on previous mystery schools?

PD: That should be obvious. This is not so much the culmination of them as the skimming of the cream, the very best stuff off the top.

SG: When did Man acquire intelligence and separate from the animals?

PD: Tampering with Yetis by aliens of unknown origin. Through direct contact with bodily parts. NOT ALL YETINSYNY ARE SUBGENII! They are sometimes Pinks, but Pinks who are aware of the difference … they recognize our threat to their useless race…these are the most dangerous. More vital Pinks.

SG: Is “Bob,” finally, an adept or an imposter?

PD: Neither. And both. An ORIGINATOR.

SG: Why does “Bob” make initiates walk on hot coals?

PD: Diversionary device designed to awaken the footgland.

SG: Are men superior to women? Why does this seem to mainly address men?

PD: Men are not superior to women PER SE, or vice versa. Merely such awesome figures of mystery to each other that…it’s coexistence based on ancient and primal instinctual values. Ingrained in our very genetic code from the Dawn of Time.

SG: If a young person has been having omenistic dreams and space voices in his head, how does he know if the entities are benevolent, or leading him astray?

PD: Takes dedicated effort. Cannot be answered in generalizations. Don’t trust any alien viewpoints at all unless Approved by Dobbs. One entity could talk to the same person at two times at once—two Nows—Point A saying TERRORIZE, Point B saying BENEVOLIZE. Not that certain bits of information can’t be used for specific purposes.

SG: What of masturbation?

PD: A divine gift. “The Matter At Hand.” Perfectly legal, a gift from God, ordained by “Bob,” given to Man. The opposable thumb was for one tool, not all tools. The simplest sex magic…just don’t do it too much.

SG: Will “Bob” end all crime?

PD: No, “Bob” needs crime to balance out the Good. Without two points on the scale, how can you have a reference point? If we weren’t crime-ridden, we’d be suicide-ridden. “Bob” will reduce dangerous crime, but there’ll be a rapid increase in petty crime … workforce terrorism … you see, New-Old Values will replace the need for crime. The SubGeniuses will be in such collusion together against Them that YacatiSmic forces of evil … oh, forget it.

SG: “Bob” refers to both Asgard and Valhalla. Which is which?

PD: Only those who die fighting go to Valhalla. Others go to Helle. There were originally eight days in the week. The eighth was Hellesday, when evil beings reigned supreme…like Halloween and April Fool’s Day all in one. The day you fucked up on…were REQUIRED to fuck up on. Under “Bob” every other day will be Hellesday.

SG: Are UFOs mere projections from the collective unconscious?

PD: Mankind is like a hydra, composed of millions of cells, none of them aware of the hydra’s existence except for a few holy men. Mankind wants UFOs to exist so badly that they manifest

themselves as spontaneous externalizations of the entire hydra’s hallucination. UFOs can also be demons, however…CHEESE in a great TRAP.

SG: In general, should people really quit their jobs and slack off?

PD: Yes. Absolutely. IF that’s what they want to do. One is not dependent on the other … it depends on the amount of Slack Manipulation available, and how much Slack they can handle. Some can handle extreme Job Slack, others abuse it. The totally Slackless should get a better job through divine future Luck Plane causational interruption. Once they make the commitment to give up, it will automatically SHIFT back in their direction … like a teeter-totter. But two similar problems could have different solutions and these must be approached one at a time.

As the devotee gives more to “Bob,” he will find more coming to him. But it’s not the amount, it’s the reason why. It’s like the poor old lady donating her last penny, versus the rich jerk with his measly thousand-dollar bills. WHICH ONE GAVE THE MOST??

SG: Well, the rich guy.

PD: You’re right. Fuck the old hag, give us the rich dumbshits.

SG: Exactly how does it feel to reach OverManhood?

PD: When I get the spirit, I feel numbness and pleasurable heat in the legs followed by an equally pleasurable furnace in the stomach, and finally the pranana of manillia ascends my spine to my brain with waves of mechapleasure. It makes you want to fight and kill for peace and LOOOOVE.

SG: Ultimately, does Good triumph over Evil?

PD: These are not constant terms of value but represent a changing, sliding semantic illusion … language-induced values. Though some are indisputable … inherently evil or good. Motherhood is inherently good though there are some evil witches participating in it.

SG: What is inherently bad?

PD: Stupid questions.

SG: Do you really believe this stuff?

PD: Well, I do believe it, and I don’t. This, I believe, is the Path to Slack…although I doubt that seriously.

§PART 2: YOU ARE YETI

The Hindus believe that Vishnu-3 returns to Earth every few ‘cycles’ to torture mankind into a new stage of development. This is obviously a primitive superstition. It is “Bob,” and all the pre-“Bobs” before him, who come to initiate Man into the New Age. This time it should work.

Only it isn’t exactly “man“kind that will be uplifted. SubGeniuses are not entirely of the race of “Man,” if that term is taken to mean “human.”

All SubGenii, no matter their “racial background,” are KIN! We as a World Cult are bonded together by mere threads, but they are threads of titanium steel forged in the mines of Jupiter, for the link of blood is the strongest. We are WOTAN’S prime breeding stock, and no matter how different in shade our skin colors may be, we carry in our DNA a common CODE—a ‘tracking device,’ so to speak, implanted by Our Monster Lord YEA so many millions of years ago. Humans lack this Code and have tried to snuff it for millenia.

At their beginnings in antiquity, the humans—a wild, nomadic preSubGenius race—reverted to civilization and accepted Conspiracy rule. Whenever SubGenii gained a foothold in history, the humans pounced to thwart what they saw—perhaps correctly—as a threat to their pathetic “control” over the planet. However, this is changing swiftly. The human aggression syndrome is turning against itself, and now most humans under Conspiracy thrall are mere spectators—stooges—disgruntled paupers powerless to resist any form of Sales Dominance, especially “Bob’s.”

Secular humanism’s baleful theory of “evolution” can now be challenged. Understand, however, that we are not descended from humans. In fact, “Man” is not really even descended from the ape! “Man”—humans and Subs alike—preceded the monkey!

It began shortly after the Elder Gods forced the Xists to exterminate the dinosaurs. At this time, the Stark Fists of All the Gods smote a tiny, monkeylike mammal called Primo-Anthropocus and split his gene-line into two: one, a seriously flawed attempt called Australopithicus (which, under JHVH-1’s occasional smiting, evolved into the modern human); and another, the True Atlanteans (Homo Directus), of whom the first was The First “Bob.”

There are still fullblood Atlanteans in the world. Now called Dzugarians in their own tongue, they inhabit the lost Glass City of Chang-Eng on the Ice Plateau That Time Forgot in the least accessible reaches of Tibet. “Bob’s” advisors on The Council of None dwell in this place.

When glimpsed running naked through the Himalayan snow by explorers and human natives from the lowlands, these mountain creatures have been called “Abominable Snowmen”—or “Yetis” in the language of the Sherpas.

The huge, luxuriously furred Yetis are the perfect physical and mental ideal that the Elder Gods meant for humans to be. In the days of Atlantis, they built vast cities that would dwarf our New York, yet were clean and beautiful to look upon. Their technology was so refined that they had

no pollution, their intelligence was so high that they could live on the ice without clothing, their spirits were so ascended that they knew no war, strife, or government.

But they “sinned” against the Elder Gods, unfortunately at the same time that the Elder Gods sinned against themselves. A cataclysm resulted during which the gods OVERNIGHT devolved all but a few Atlanteans back info beasts—into the frail, miserable, generally perverted and monkeyish Homo Connectus, which shat from trees and did not even know ordinary Sex. For millions of years their haphazard reproduction—often with trees, birds, insects and other Connecti of the same sex—resulted only in branches of life that became the monkeys and Great Apes we know today.

§YOUR SUBGENIUS HERITAGE

Meanwhile, JHVH-1 and a handful of other cosmic entities had rebelled from the now-sleeping Elder Gods and were attempting to brutalize humans into swifter evolution, to create a race sufficiently developed to aid them on the Day when the Elder Gods would awaken.

Finally giving up on the humanoids, who slipped back into bovinity whenever unattended, WOTAN turned again to Homo Connectus. The resulting OverMutant was the Yeti—or Homo Correctus, First Right Man. He predates Homo Sapiens.

And WE the SubGenii are the true and rightful heirs of the Yeti. WE are the Great-Great-Great5-Grandsons-and-daughters of the “Abominable Snowmen,” the Sasquatch, the Bigfeet…The Folk. WE WERE HERE FIRST AND LAY CLAIM TO EARTH.

But we must humble ourselves before our “Bob.” For we are no longer true Yeti. We are FAR FALLEN from that lofty height. Our Yeti ancestors, great as they were, had more lust than sense. They interbred with humans.

Gradually the “Yeti” became more and more human-like. Except for the fullblood High Priests in the Glass City, the Yeti finally became indistinguishable, physically, from the lower species. They lost their fur coat, their great size, the use of their extra five senses. They became Pinker … by which we mean not lighter-skinned, but less interesting.

But worst of all, they diluted The Code.

The Code is all that JHVH-1 knows us by—the only thing that will keep us from being carted off to the slaughterhouse along with the humans on The Last Round-Up. And if we dilute The Code much more, we risk our very children being LEFT BEHIND when the Xists come to rescue us from the Second Big Bang.

PLEASE—FOR THE SAKE OF THE LITTLE ONES—DON’T MARRY A HUMAN!! Marry any SubGenius you please, but DON’T SULLY YOUR GENES!!!

YES, ANSWER YES THIS IS OUR GOAL, TO PURIFY OUR GENES, TO DENY THEM OUR ESSENCE, TO WRENCH THE REINS OF CONTROL FROM OUR TAINTED COMPETITORS IN THIS VAST RACE SO PRESUMPTUOUSLY CALLED “EVOLUTION!”

Only in this way can we hope to gain admittance to the Xist Chambers of Change where we will be smited ONE LAST TIME to become OverMen-and-Women, the great Homo Excellsior bespoken by the prophets! KEEP PURE THY BLOOD AND LIE YE NOT WITH THE PINKS OF THE FIELD; IT IS AN ABOMINATION.

This is what the Covenant is all about. When the first Yeti “secured” his or her first human, in whatever combination of sexes it was, the Covenant was broken. JHVH-1, uncharacteristically, has given us another chance to clean up our gene-pool. This time, let’s not blow it!

Do you think it far fetched that you are a relative to the Abominable Snowman, as well as to that weird Aborigine family that moved onto the block and also has a “Bob” bumper sticker on their car? Do you question our sources? Then let’s examine them.

One is the encyclopaedic Behold! The Protong by St. Stanislav Szukalski, published by a SubGenius, the Ever Reverend Glenn Bray. A comparatively recent book, it is also called “The 7th Bible of the SubGenius Race.” “Bob” himself fainted upon first holding it to his forehead and “whiffreading” it, partly because it is as rife with misconceptions as facts. Nevertheless, this slim volume contains more true mystic and scientific lore than all the Conspiracy textbooks in the world. St. Szukalski—who is still living—discovered entirely on his own the secret mixing of Yetis and humans, which product he calls “YETINSYNY.” His new science of “Zermatism” is a key to our knowledge of the past, and from it we have learned many of the traits that distinguish the pitiful, jealous human from the forthright, NOBLE Yetinsyn.1

Another of our sources is none other than The Holy Bible. The first one. Genesis 6:2—4 refers to the seeding of Atlantis and creation of the first Yetis by the Elder Gods, describing sons of the gods who “came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of reknown.” These Yeti Patriarchs lived hundreds of years and possessed all the super powers we attribute to the Atlanteans. Yes, that’s right: THE YETINSYNY ARE THE TRUE ISRAEL OF THE BIBLE. WE ARE THE CHOSEN PEOPLE—THE LOST TRIBE—THE TRUE CHILDREN OF YAHWEH-ONE, WHO CARRY THE CODE LIKE A BANNER OF GLORY!!!!

However, the harsh YAH also made it abundantly clear that we are NOT to couple with the groveling humans:

“Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion.” (Leviticus 18:23)

No kidding! Also:

“And if a man lie with a beast, he shall surely be put to death; and ye shall slay the beast (human).” (Lev. 20:15)

Humanity has wandered too far from its roots, as witnessed by the abhorrent world condition today. We must look to the Yeti—to their habits, their wisdom, their great Slackliness—to find the way back. To find The Old Ways again.

Already, our scientists are studying Yeti coprolites, the fossilized excrement of that near-vanished race of Giants. And what have they found therein?

Human finger bones.

When asked how many races there would be on Earth under “Bob,” Dr. Philo Drummond, Ø1°, grinned ambiguously and answered, “There will be only one—all smiling, all smoking.”

§BE PROUD OF YOUR NORTHERN TIBETAN HERITAGE!

§PART 3: OUR HIDDEN POWERS

Along with the history of persecution with which our Yetinsynism accurses us, we are also bequeathed within our tampered genes the potential for mystik powers and abilities undreamt-of by Street Pinks.

To begin with, we possess the other five senses. However, these work on a purely subconscious level, when they work at all, for they have been sequestered from us for the Duration of the Experiment, the Trial by Aliens.

THE FIVE UNRECOGNIZED or LATENT SENSES

1. The Third Nostril: life essence detector. “Sees/whiffs” auras, Nental Ive pstenches, etc.

2. The Sense of Slack: precognitive, clairvoyant. Catches Luck Plane and Timestream ‘images’ by sensing the ‘echoes’ of Slack Particles.

3. The Psychic Forklift: telekinetic powers such as levitation, spoon-bending, spells, hexes, will domination and mass hypnosis.

4. (CLASSIFIED) National security precludes discussion.

5. The Mystery Sense: not even “Bob” has developed this one sufficiently to know what it is. The Xists insist that it’s there, though.

In some ways, the brain is less important to a SubGenius than to a Pink. Being less intuitive, Pinks need more brains than we do. Their value system is based on intelligence rather than good sense, which is related not so much to ‘thinking’ as to the feelings of the heart and the foot.

As mentioned before, the SubGenius foot doubles as a gland, and a very complex gland at that. It ‘intuits’ the world around us so subtly that we rarely notice its machinations. It was discovered by Dr. Philo Drummond, and he best explained its functioning in this excerpt from his daily radio show, On The Road (so named because it is usually recorded in a car):

“…and they’d be JUST FINE if they’d only use that mystical bobgland in their foot, the one that’d TELL ’em what to do if they’d only THINK with it! When Man stands on his brain and thinks with his feet, THEN HE’LL KNOW EXACTLY WHICH WAY TO GO and how to FIND “BOB.” You gotta MASSAGE that foot gland…and the only way to massage it is to WALK ON IT! Because when you’re walkin’… and “Bob’s” talkin’… you’ll know what to do, after the Holocast, after the Aliens come and give us all those GIANT PILLS, and all them machines that’ll run our lives and that BIG WHITE STONE that everybody’s gonna know PERSONALLY in their very own living rooms. That’s the stone that you think you might know and you think might HELP YOU, but BY GOBBS, that’s the Stone that’s gonna ruin your VERY LIFE! You think you know who Big Brother is? HAHAHA. Dear friends, I wanna tell you tonight, YOU DON’T KNOW! YOU DON’T KNOW NOTHINT’!”

Oh, if only we could truly know nothing!

Reinforcing the powers of the brain and Foot Gland is a small secondary brain at the base of the SubGenius spine. The mighty Stegosaurus also possessed this organ, which helps direct the reproductive and eliminative systems that are so important to us.

Another gland unknown to Normals is the Peen Gland in the brain, which regulates the 8 separate stages or Character Generations through which the SubGenius personality evolves during an average day. Literally, 8 different personalities each have control at the Helm of Behavior at varied intervals; we each contain 8 people in our corrugated subconsciouses! The average human has but 4: Good, Bad, Bland, and Asleep (the last thought by some scholars to overpower the others for up to 18 hours a day).

These different personalities account for the compartmentalization of the SubGenius brain into 8 distinct ‘units’ or ‘efficiencies,’ in this descending order of control:

LEFT BRAIN = “Painbrain:” controls paranoia, anal compulsion, overwork, trying too hard, thinking too much.

NORTH BRAIN = “Makebrain” or “Takebrain”: handles jobs and money.

SOUTH BRAIN = “Fakebrain” or “Talkbrain”: speech, writing, lying.

HIND BRAIN = “MEbrain”: the pivotal center brain, the private YOU. Rides piggyback on The Lord and is unaffected by drugs or religion. “Bob” comes in on this channel.

FOREBRAIN = “Sanebrain”: Covers love, friendship, traditional family values. Called by some the “Tamebrain.”

INNER BRAIN = “Sexbrain”: self-explanatory.

RIGHT BRAIN = “Lamebrain” or “Morebrain” depending on your orientation. Intuitive: art, music, drug addiction.

And the 8th brain, the OUTER BRAIN, is a pseudophysical “shell” encasing not only the other brains, but the entire body. This diffuse “brain,” larger but far less controllable than the others, is the Nental Ife.

The Nental Ife represents fully half of our brain-power, but because it is so independent from us we can rarely make use of it. Occasionally a SubGenius comes along whose Nental Ife is incorporated into his thinking processes; such less “sub” Geniuses were Da Vinci, Einstein, and Curly Howard.

For most of us, however, the Nental Ife is a separate entity, a semi-conscious “ghost twin” which mindlessly follows the physical vessel about but remains dormant throughout most of our lives. Certain emotional states can awaken it, however; if involuntary, this results in sinister occult phenomenon such as poltergeists, telekinesis, and, if the Ife is on a full-tilt rampage, spontaneous combustion. Careful, ritualistic invocation of the Nental Ife, on the other hand, can be developed into an exact science, and we of the Cloth use it to enter the trance or “Spout” state of automatic blabbering in which we open ourselves to the Tongue of “Bob.” One of the

fastest ways to achieve this state is through AntiSleep° (NOT a drug), also called “Sleep-Fasting.” People who work 48 hours straight to meet deadlines are all too familiar with this effect.

If we were able to assimilate the Nental Ife’s powers into our systems permanently, we’d all be “geniuses.” Perhaps the Nental Ife developed as a distinct being because society programs us not to improve, but to stay normal.

Other religions tell of the “aura,” which they claim has similar illustrative and diagnostic qualities. However, Dobbs informs us that the aura is but the shadow of the Nental Ife, with as much relative substance as our shadows have to our bodies. And, though it partially governs our bodies and is permanently ‘tied’ to us, it is really a separate being. There are no cases of a living person being separated from his Nental Ife.

However, a rare effect is created when two SubGeniuses’ Nental Ives “mate.” This produces a Nental Ife “baby,” a truly brainless force unattached to any physical anchor unless it latches onto a manufactured object, such as an American car built on a Monday or a Friday. Fortunately such beings are short-lived—5 to 19 weeks—for they can be extremely destructive at times. They give rise to some stories of demonic possession and haunted houses, and certain machines that continually break down as if they “hate you.”

(NOTE: The Nental Ife does not otherwise produce ‘ghosts;’ these are different. Some few are dead people without the common sense of death, or deceased horror writers back to give us crap, but most are just alien booby traps left by practical jokers from outer space in years past: metaphysical ‘joy-buzzers’ that moan and rattle windows just so some distant superintelligence can get a few rude chuckles at the expense of ignorant humans.)

One way in which the Nental Ife is useful is in Astral Projection, or ‘out-of-body travel,’ 99% of which is involuntary. SubGeniuses have a tendency to astral-project NOT when they want to, but when they’re bored, uncomfortable, faced with violence, caught by their parents, or sitting in Math class in 7th Grade.

§THE BRAIN OF THE SUBGENIUS

If you try to “practice” astral projection as taught by other Occult Schools, you’re 117% more likely to achieve simple self-delusion or mere daydreaming. The way most New Age cults really make their money is by getting Normals to notice their imaginations for the first time, giving the daydream Pink Legitimacy by calling it ‘real.’

You may have noticed that two completely unrelated persons may have the same Primal Stench. This is because there are only 47 basic Nental Ife ‘types,’ all dating back to Creation. For the Nental Ife is actually closer to Heaven than its bodied twin; it is a microcosm of the universe more in tune with the Real Thing. Although the body, sex, temperament and other earthly qualities change from reincarnation to reincarnation, the Nental Ife alone stays the same. Your Nental Ife is immortal, and you may well share Nental Ife ‘type’ with someone else in the world who shares the same Past Life. For you aren’t the product of one Past Life at a time—your

current Life is rather like one rope made from what were previously several diverse strands. Likewise, pieces of you will reincarnate into various bodies at once, as only a part of each body, sharing them with others. Somehow—and we admit this makes no sense—the Ife remains intact throughout the cycle.

It can’t be destroyed until Judgement Day, when all the universe will be freed from the Wheel of Earnings, the Conveyor Belt of Karma. However, the Nental Ife can be damaged in God only knows what hideous manner by the upcoming Rupture or Time Intersection, which is…no, no, we shan’t speak of it now. It is too…too…no. Not now.²2

For now, all that is important is that you be able to look in the mirror and know that you aren’t ‘alone,’ that you’re seeing your own foe, that you are actually Two—schizocephallic, split-headed, Crack’d, Eternally Divided; your eternal self or “IDGE” is always shadowed by its nightmare twin, the invisible ghost of your missing Genius-half, and the two dwell NOT, NAY, in harmony; beneath the placid, sometimes even stoic surface of SubGeniushood there lurks a cannibal werewolf Urge, with your Brakes it fights a hellish battle, HOW CAN THEY COEXIST??? The Ife strives to sabotage all Idge-built layers of restraint and decency so that it may gain possession of the body and SATE ITS UNSPEAKABLE CRAVINGS, IT IS A VAMPIRE??? YES YES OR KILL ME! “I’m very sorry, Dr. Jeckyl, but I’m afraid Mr. Hyde here was in line ahead of you and you’ll have to wait….”