Forward

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Sometimes a book goes too far. Sometimes … is now. First—there was The Gilgamesh. Then… the Bhagavad-Gita. Then… The Torah, The New Testament, The Koran. Then… The Book of Mormon, Dianetics, I’m OK You’re OK.

And now …

THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS (How to Prosper in the Coming Weird Times)

THE BOOK YOU NOW HOLD IN YOUR HANDS COULD CREATE A NEW INQUISITION—A SELF-PERPETUATING FASCIST STATE THAT WILL LAST TO THE END OF HUMANITY—OR IT COULD BE THE FOUNDATION-STONE OF THE PROMISED KINGDOM OF PEACE AND HARMONY. WHICH WILL IT BE?

Yes. YOU can rape your own mind. YOU can finally relax in the safety of your own delusions.

This epipastic for the brains of Epoptics, Beholders, and Initiates, works an authentic gnostic magician’s spell that will drive OUT the foreign personalities and id-demons. Protected by its own occult roots in the most extreme forms of para-and mecha-psychology, it places the reader within a “shell” of Weird Phenomena which must be used for good and evil.

Its system of Mystik Correspondences’ has already given SECRET POWER to the Church of the SubGenius—the world’s first industrial church, the prophesied End Times cult of screamers and laughers, scoffers, blasphemers, mockers, sinners, and the last true holymen in America today.

KEEP THIS BOOK NEAR YOU—in your pocket, your bathroom, your glove compartment. Study it. Memorize it. Find within its pages a NEW DIRECTION—a NEW WAY a HIGHER yet LOWER REALITY just as thousands before you have done! Peels away the bullshit, LAYER BY LAYER!! The world-famous authors of the original Facts About Dobbs show you how to unearth and wield your amazing hidden powers of VENGEANCE. This prophetic new accounting of future history and a fantastic religion beyond science is “ … more entertaining than fiction more terrifying than the truth!” A self-“help” book for sinners, creeps, junkies, morphodites, and wise men and guys who know they wouldn’t get “help” from any book even if they needed it in the first place. WITH SPECIAL INSANE BONUS OFFER “THE PRESCRIPTURES” Prophecy of the SubGenius The Church of SubGenius is an order of Scoffers and Blasphemers, dedicated to Total Slack, delving into Mockery Science, Sadofuturistics, Megaphysics, Scatalography, Schizophreniatrics, Morealism, Sarcastrophy, Cynisacreligion, Apocolyptionomy, ESPectorationalism,

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HypnoPediatrics, Subliminalism, Satyriology, DistoUtopianity, Sardonicology, Fasciestiouism, Ridiculophagy, and Miscellatheistic Theology. “Researching the Public’s Fear of the Unknown Since 1953!”

For up-to-date information on The Church, send a stamped, self-addressed envelope to: The SubGenius Foundation PO Box 807, Glen Rose, TX 76043

We welcome contributions of any kind: letters, artwork, photos, clippings, articles, sin materials, artifacts, money, sacrifices, tapes, and all other shreds of humanity. NOT TAX DEDUCTIBLE. We would rather not hear from Mediocretins, Pinks, Glorps, or False Prophets.

This Book was begun in 1953 by J.R. “Bob” Dobbs High Epopt of the Church of the SubGenius

Revised In 1979 by Dr. Philo U. Drummond, Ѳ1 Dr. X Rev. Ivan Stang, A.ø.

Board of Directors of The SubGenius Foundation appointed in 1980:

Puzzling Evidence Doug Wellman HellSwami John Hagen Pastor Buck Naked Cookie Drummond F.G.O.T.R. St. Sterno Keckhaver St. Janor Hypercleats Drs. for “Bob” Pope David Meyer III J. Erickson LIES St. Paul Mavrides Sir Guy Deuel Glassmadness someone else

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Additional Sacrifices, 1981, by

High Priestess Eileen Keller Dr. Bootmokus Alexander D. Smith Rev. Larry Sulkis Shrendi Chisholm Bob Black, THE LAST INTERNATIONAL Dr. Jay Kinney St. Joe Schwind Capt. Hugh M. Smith Tribunal Overdrive Stefan Hammond Rev. David Boone Dennis Keller St. Byron Werner R. Wollard Burn Martyr Dr. Snavely Eklund Severn Institute Pope St. D. Lee Lama St. Poonflang Dammerung Kerry Wendell Thornely Pope Mike Danger Hector Hilldale Autumn Deuel Leslie Gaspar Drelloid tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE

1982 Illiterati:

Dominatrix Candi Strecker, Dr. Gary Hughes, Rev. Brian Curran, Rev. Garth Danielson, Bishop Buhle, Bishop Huey, St. Karen Trego, Mechapope Monika Vidi, Apostle G. Don Trubey, Fair Use Empire, Pope Michael Flores and The People’s Temple, Sir Hal Robins, Krononautic Organism, Rev. Bob Lee, Nick West, St. Patricia Daley, Stigmatic Ted Early, Mastress Freddie Baer, Political Bizarro Luke T. McGuff, Maestro John Crawford, Prof. Mark Mothersbaugh, St. Becky Block, Radio Popes Kates, Chusid, Brown, Ginsburg, Nelson & Opinion; John Steakley, St. Rick Hoefle, Will (Lord) Small 888

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§PROPHECY CRUSADE

WE THE SUBGENIUS OF THE POST-HUMAN RACE. in order to preserve life on this planet from immanent destruction, reestablish intelligence, regain Slack, cast out the False Prophets, smother forever the fear of fear Itself, receive the questionable gifts of the Beforelife and of the Space Dwellers, become as Overmen, unmask the Conspiracy, grip the reins of human evolution, control reproduction and mutation, decipher the Code, placate the Stark Fist of Removal, achieve Time Control, see That Which Must Come To Pass, become as gods, find the Twins with the Scissors of Sight, avert the Rupture of the Equilibrium, and secure the fiancial blessings of Jehovah-1 the God of Wrath for ourselves and our descendants, do hereby admit ourselves as such and thus ordain this Advertisement of the SubGenius Race of Earth

THE SOURCE: JEHOVAH-1 (a.k.a. WOTAN, YAHWEH, RA, etc.)

§THE TEACHER: J.R. “BOB” DOBBS

§THE GOAL: SLACK

§THE OBSTACLE: THE CONSPIRACY AND ITS DUPES, THE NORMALS

§THE WAY: THE CASTING OUT OF FALSE PROPHETS

§THE WEAPON: TIME CONTROL

§SLOGANS:

“Fuck ’Em If They Can’t Take A Joke” “Too Much Is Always Better Than Not Enough” “Pull The Wool Over Your Own Eyes” “You’ll Pay To Know What You Really Think” “Give Me Slack, Or Give Me Food (Or Kill Me)” “If I Can’t Whup It, I’ll Go DOWN” “Bleeding Head Good, Healed Head Bad” “If You Act Like A Dumbshit, They’ll Treat You As An Equal”