Down the hole:
The X-ists
234 pages in the archive mention The X-ists. The ones that talk about it most come first. Or skip the list and let it pick.
Big Fist 161 · Transcripts 32 · Library 14 · The Book 14 · SubIRC 11 · Book of Dobbscoin 2
- Forced Galactic Sodomy 538's Big Night
Big Fist · 24 mentions
…ds produced by the rapes, scourgings, flayings, and brandings all smelled bad after a few days in the heat of Xist induced global warming. Then there were the lesser stenches, those generated by rotting vegetables, poor sani…
- Post rupture chat with the Bobbies
Big Fist · 14 mentions
…tan will crush Bob and rule all' *** Set by Havoc on Sun Jul 04 08:15:19 <Rev_Ef> Hallo. <Rev_Ef> I am Goku. <Xist> its my Xday and i'll die if i want to <Rev_Ef> What do you come for? <Psych> Goku is god <RevHavok> hey tem …
- Ruptured! Joke 'Em, IF They Can't Take a FUCK!
Big Fist · 12 mentions
…he KING OF SLACK Possession of DOKTOR BTM. The Void Vortex Soul Opening as the anti-bob LEFT BTM, is when the X-ist life force soul-eating alien mutant commando for Jehovah One known to us as the: KING OF SLACK! ....the King …
- EARTH IS HELL — The Book of the SubGenius
The Book · 12 mentions
…Q: Explain the laser project. Rev. Buck Naked: Our church figures Jehovah-1 is retarded. Far beyond us or the Xists alright, but too sadistic to be “all there.” When J speaks thru “Bob” he never mentions much about his backgr…
- Subject: WELCOME, Clones of '08
Big Fist · 10 mentions
…h 10, and what you are supposed to do now that you have left your comfortable abode of the sludge pots of the Xist ships, for a short and unhappy life of slavery and despair on this rock. To start with, once again nu-Earth 9…
- “THE UFO MADE ME DO IT” — The Book of the SubGenius
The Book · 9 mentions
…pace Rapist 2000 (Sundog Films, 1959) “The necktie is a serpentlike symbol of evil worn by humales.” —from an Xist space transmission intercepted by the U.S. Navy, 1960 You may now OPEN YOUR EYES. The UFOs are there. Beyond …
- subgenius 7/12/98
Big Fist · 8 mentions
…lebrity. Stang: P-Lil -- don't worry, they went straight to video. PeeKat: What...did Palmer want animatronic Xists or soemthing?? decadence: So, how long do you cats normally hang in here? Rabbi: Decadence-Until we get bored…
- subgenius 6/7/98 editted
Big Fist · 8 mentions
… want it back now that it has been so badly used. P-Lil: Yes, lots of Godzillas. I was dreaming of an army of Xist Godzillas this morning. st-bubba: carefully lay the charred and barbq'ed remains of the us population out alo…
- XXXday saucerwatch2000 report - UFO sightings at brushwood
Big Fist · 8 mentions
…d became the weekend headquarters for saucerWatch2000. My primary goal was to provide advanced warning of the X-ist saucers arriving at earth. Taking advantage of the very dark skies at brushwood and the unusually clear air, …
- Killing "Bob"
Big Fist · 7 mentions
…4 on the hotel and see if you can manage a 409 time lock on the bar. PLAINCLOTHESMAN But, sir! Those are both Xist watering holes! They may not go along with it! PETERS pulls out a roll of red bills and peels a few off for t…
- Killing “Bob” — the SubGenius Library
Library · 7 mentions
…4 on the hotel and see if you can manage a 409 time lock on the bar. PLAINCLOTHESMAN But, sir! Those are both Xist watering holes! They may not go along with it! PETERS pulls out a roll of red bills and peels a few off for t…
- X-Day 2001: Triumph of the Swill from: Modemac
Big Fist · 6 mentions
… be a perfect example of how EVERYONE would come together and pitch in to make it a real EVENT. Those goddamn Xist saucers pulled a no-show -- again -- and we were left standing with egg on our faces. (In fact, I suspect it …
- Conspicuous Absence
Big Fist · 6 mentions
…my old thunder and lightning routine." "Well, besides the fact that 'where' isn't an answerable as far as the X-ists are concerned, there's a bit of a hitch." The two evil metabeings glared impatiently, waiting while "Bob" rel…
- YOUR SUBGENIUS HERITAGE — The Book of the SubGenius
The Book · 6 mentions
…ly unknown to Man today. If you cleave to “Bob,” you will see magic come to pass in your life. HOWEVER … Only Xist technology can complete a SubGenius’s transfiguration into OverManhood or OverWomanliness, and so far “Bob” h…
- Ex Dee Four from: twobeans@excite.com (Two Beans)
Big Fist · 5 mentions
… Then at the end of my rant, I burned my minister's card. I don't want to leave this planet. I don't want the Xists to take me away from a globe where such a thing as last week is possible. Xists, fuck off. Leave me here and …
- The Xists let us off with a warning this year...
Big Fist · 5 mentions
The Xists let us off with a warning this year... The Xists let us off with a warning this year... From: speaker616@hotm…
- Lil's XXX-Day Report
Big Fist · 5 mentions
…a-ha way, Judas and I had adopted this phrase, "Dobbs unwilling," to speak of things that might happen if the Xists didn't show up. "We'll pack a squid full of frappie next week, Dobbs unwilling." "Dobbs unwilling," MY ASS. G…
- THE PRESCRIPTURES — The Book of the SubGenius
The Book · 5 mentions
…h-mash of old Pagan symbols and incorporating garbled messages sent to Cerinthus by mind-wave from a Renegade Xist who was trying to warn the Earth of JHVH-1’s presence. This material “read” so well that JHVH-1 adapted it fo…
- Dupe
Big Fist · 4 mentions
…s, clustered with consoles and gadgetry like a cross between the inside of a submarine's conning tower and an Xist interrogation closet. Flashing red lights and constantly changing displays on a multitude of monitors faced h…
- World Without Slack · WWS16
Big Fist · 4 mentions
…o thank for that. He'd been counting on it when he allowed Jones to follow him in, just one step ahead of the Xist process servers. The two enemies were now completely isolated in "Bob's" private survival capsule. Jones wasn…
- (Long) An XXXX-Day Report + Rants from St. Marc The Perpetually Amused
Big Fist · 4 mentions
… up the road and wait for death or Rupture, maybe in the hot tub." Then it occurred to me what was happening: X-ist scout ships were looking for Brushwood (even X-ist technology would have been a little imprecise with that mu…
- STILL HERE?
Big Fist · 4 mentions
…t.com> Nah, I don't think anything happened. Just like I thought; we didn't generate enough Hate Rays for the Xist ships to find us. Either that or because membership in The Church is so low the Xists didn't have enough mone…
- Phineas' X-Day Vision
Big Fist · 4 mentions
…It was his 2nd rant of the evening, the middle of a much worked on triad that was going to culminate with the Xists landing. And what could be planned for that? It was like that button in 'The Truman Show', 'How Will It End?'…
- Post X-day REACTION and MANIFESTO (Lawless)
Big Fist · 4 mentions
…rbing thing about the two days since July 5th has been my realisation that part of me actually *expected* the Xists to arrive. *Seriously*, not as "part of the satire", or whatever. This success of SubGenius "auto-programming…
- Answer to the Xist riddle!!!
Big Fist · 4 mentions
Answer to the Xist riddle!!! Answer to the Xist riddle!!! From: flotw82@aol.com (FLOTW82) Newsgroups: alt.slack Date: Tue, Jul 4…
- Troutwaxer's XXX-Day report
Big Fist · 4 mentions
…strants that this number would be used later in a lottery to choose those who would season the mixture if the Xists found the souls of the pinks insufficiently spicy and tangy. We took some of our crystals with us, and had th…
- Welcome to Adobe GoLive 4 · XXX-Video-Log-Roll4
Big Fist · 4 mentions
…whole societies out of shit.... now we're asking, "When will that shit be washed away? Where the fuck are the Xists? I want an explanation that makes SENSE! G. Spencer Brown's math book "The Laws of Form" and "The Travelling …
- Dupe — the SubGenius Library
Library · 4 mentions
…s, clustered with consoles and gadgetry like a cross between the inside of a submarine's conning tower and an Xist interrogation closet. Flashing red lights and constantly changing displays on a multitude of monitors faced h…
- Questions — the SubGenius Library
Library · 4 mentions
…, are nonetheless nothing short of "Godlike" to we roaches, the Human Race. These BENIGN SPACE MONSTERS, the "X-ists," have walked among us throughout history, investigating and sometimes resisting the subatomically-pervading …
- Hour of Slack Log · Hour of Slack 1652
Transcripts · 4 mentions
…ur next publishing event, the novel EYELASH by Nikolai Kingsley. The Rainmakers, classics x 3. The history of Xists inventing Yetis, Yetis inventing humans, Why hide the edge of the Flat Earth? Where SubGeniuses come from. Th…
- Subject: Re: X-Day XI: The Prophecy Fulfilled
Big Fist · 3 mentions
…st be yelled at. > > I am not merely making this up now that X-Day has come and gone once > again without the Xists arriving. You can ask other SubGenii or check > the Secret X-Day Cabal mailing list that was used to plan the…
- The day "Bob" wept.
Big Fist · 3 mentions
…com> Friday Jones wrote: > You call it a parable, I call it a pain in the ass. > I'll think I'll go visit the Xist bathrooms while THAT parable is being told. > Speaking of which - any guesses as to what an Xist toilet will …
- Subject: Lil's Seattle Rant '00
Big Fist · 3 mentions
…ciple: "To cross again is not to cross." Bear with me for a second. Now, July 5 has come around twice and the Xists have yet to manifest. Therefore, we were DOUBLE-CROSSED! We were crossed in '98, and then we were crossed aga…
- Oasis of Slack 10 February 2001 Tucson Arizona Church of the SubGenius · fieldreports
Big Fist · 3 mentions
…XistMas. THE ARISAL. The Harvest Moon shall rise, the horn shall blow, and the call to arms shall sound! Huge Xist spaceships will suddenly, in the blink of an eye, hover over all major cities; the Judgment of Wotan and the …
- Stang owes nobody!
Big Fist · 3 mentions
…the sex-goddesses would come. The issue then comes down to whether or not Stang could actually prove that the X-ists were coming; and this is where the courts back off. They do not feel as though it is their place to determine…
- Stangian X-Day Report 7-10-98
Big Fist · 3 mentions
…, maybe you shouldn't oughta believe everything you read. Aside from the obvious -- the world not ending, the Xists not showing up and Dobbs skipping out, and me getting tarred and feathered and publically humiliated like a s…
- The True Story of Pee Kitty at X-Day
Big Fist · 3 mentions
…triped socks she had before her were actually the primary antennae of the Janor Device. No one except for the Xists, of course. And Janor, but that goes without saying. ::: Somewhere in the Solar System ::: X minus 4 days, 18…
- When Will You Grow Up and Leave This "Church"? (ExposeBob!)
Big Fist · 3 mentions
…re a "Bob"bie who is very disappointed that all the other kids who beat you up every day weren't destroyed by X-ist saucers. sorry, kid, the beatings will go on until you get yourself some Slack. -- geoff spear | please respo…
- Xist visit report
Big Fist · 3 mentions
Xist visit report Xist visit report From: a@invalid.url Date: Sun, 05 Jul 1998 07:26:39 -0400 Organization: First …
- Xists late in Australia
Big Fist · 3 mentions
Xists late in Australia Xists late in Australia From: Rev Chuck <cdub@-REMOVE_THIS-erols.com> Date: Sat, 04 Jul 199…
- X-DAY and THE LAST STARK FIST
Big Fist · 3 mentions
…t here at my house on July 5 and wait for X-Day to come to me, as the Earth rotates beneath the great line of Xist "presences." So I don't feel the need to bust my ass travelling all the way to this little town in the boonie…
- Bulldada Auction Announcement
Big Fist · 3 mentions
…ur LAST CHANCE TO RAISE CASE FOR "BOB!" Why is this the final Auction? Because IT'S XXX-DAY, YOU IDIOTS!! The Xists will FINALLY arrive to wipe out this cum-stained planet, and there won't be any NEED for Bulldada Auctions af…
- Index · postXXX
Big Fist · 3 mentions
… planet. IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. Some have become disheartened, yes. Good riddance to them. Dobbs and the Xists are culling the doubters... so that when the Rupture finally does come, ONLY WE THE FANATICS SHALL REMAIN!! D…
- WE DARE CALL IT ‘CONSPIRACY’ — The Book of the SubGenius
The Book · 3 mentions
…ny difference, the real meaning of “666” is that it represents a breakthrough in computer technology that the Xists will bring: the Trinary Code, which besides the “Yes” and “No” functions of each basic computer decision, add…
- IRC_subgenius_01_23_00.html
SubIRC · 3 mentions
…hen they leave their fucking horses on a public road unnatended and someone hits them.... Modemac: I want the Xists to give me a ray gun from "Mars Attacks!" -- but they don't have one handly, then I'll settle for a BFG from …
- Hour of Slack Log · Hour of Slack 1775
Transcripts · 3 mentions
…r High. Monster highs. "We like clowns, they taste funny." Clowns on drugs and on fire. Trophies taken by the Xists. Horror hosts as ShorDurPerSavs. Ask Dr. Hal preview. Ticks and other monsters of X-Day at Wisteria. Advice o…
- The Third Fist - part 1
Big Fist · 2 mentions
… "Bob," lifting it reverentially from the ground. "It's the god-damned real thing! The Third Pipe! A god damn Xist artifact! From outer space! What else could I need?" ""Bob,"" glowered Crazy Horse, "You are truly a Sacred F…
- The Third Fist - part 2
Big Fist · 2 mentions
…the bat! See," he explained, tamping his pipe, "These are rogue, purebred humans -- probably escaped from the Xist Atlantean laboratories... The First "Bob" invented the fuckers himself, intending to use them as beasts of bu…
- Beforeword
Big Fist · 2 mentions
…hesied savior of the dogma-following and dues-paying Chosen on X-Day , July 5, 1998, when his 'customers' the Xists arrive from "Planet X"; Honorary Pilot of the pleasure-saucer Escape Vessels of the Sex Goddesses; and captai…
- World Without Slack · WWS1
Big Fist · 2 mentions
…!" The Vault of Horror, no. 26, E.C. Comics T he Fightin' Jesus looked out over the immense bridge of the the Xist battle saucer, Blood of Christ. He laughed. He was finally going to have His revenge on the natives of Dust-M…
- World Without Slack · WWS15
Big Fist · 2 mentions
…t went, unless she was going to count "Lucy." Philo hadn't been kidding. There was no warning at all when the Xist Time Sphere had dropped into the center of their safari camp near Isiolo and, with a burst of pink light and …
- 12 X-Day Text Reports
Big Fist · 2 mentions
… celebrate X-day a little differently in russia Bonobo Bandito: THE RIPTURE or the Misplaced Earth IMBJR: The Xists arrived iDRMRSR: This is my Post-X Day fear Tezcatlipoca \"Tez\" Murphy": Why you didn't get Ruptured this ye…
- Post-XDV Reports
Big Fist · 2 mentions
…02 Bobbie Awards The Bobbie Awards 2002 Not Attending XDay Winners...(WAS: The Bobbie Awards 2002) Those Darn X-ists The Current Theory re: Xist Non-Event MESSAGE FROM THE XISTS, ATTN. STANG PLEASURE SAUCER LOCATED IN N. AZ! […
- The Bulldada Auction
Big Fist · 2 mentions
… He ALWAYS needs money. So bring your bulldada to X-Day and donate it to the Bulldada Auction! On July 5, the Xists will be arriving to initiate the Rupture, and we're all going to be so busy that we won't have any more needs…
- Subject: My XDay 6 Rant - Bobbies vs. Bobbies
Big Fist · 2 mentions
…hat they want, it's precisely what they said. The one true church has gone away and left us all for dead. The X-ist will not come because they already came. We are all the sloppy seconds in their mindless little game. You'll …
- Subject: This Years Excuse
Big Fist · 2 mentions
…l 11, 2003 2:57 AM Message-ID: <belmu5$6g0b6$1@ID-193832.news.uni-berlin.de> > This years excuse for X-Day... Xist will no visit in a year that is a prime. in ANY calendar. which is why they haven't landed yet. they're in a …
- WE ARE DISPLEASED, by X-ist SubCommander Apricot
Big Fist · 2 mentions
WE ARE DISPLEASED, by X-ist SubCommander Apricot WE ARE DISPLEASED, by X-ist SubCommander Apricot From: Unclaimed Mysteries Newsgroups: a…
- X-Day 2006: The Revenge of Connie
Big Fist · 2 mentions
…the most enjoyable, most exciting, and most Slackful X-Day drills of all! Except for the fact that those damn Xists didn't show up AGAIN, this was a year to compare with the triumphant Slack we received in the X-Day Drill of …
- Subject: GERMANY BARS POPEBLACK FROM WORK!!! SLACK MACHT FRIE!!!!!
Big Fist · 2 mentions
…rotect me!!!!! You work for "Bob" now, you are one of HIS. In but a few months time you will be (assuming the X-ist don't come, those fuckups) a "BOB" SLAVE! I'm so HAPPY for you. What I REALLY need though, is PEER pressure t…
- Guestbook
Big Fist · 2 mentions
… to be used in anyway true Subs see fit. By the way, we WILL be taking a large number of Bobbies along on the X-ist saucers. Personally, I'm looking forward to roast Bobbie, Bobbie steak, Salisbury Bobbie Steak, BBQ Bobbie, B…
That is the 60 that say it most. The other 174 are in there too, and the button reaches all of them.