The Book of the SubGenius
The one that started it. Written by Rev. Ivan Stang “with” J.R. “Bob” Dobbs, published by McGraw-Hill in 1983, and still the strangest object ever carried by a mainstream publisher.
22 SECTIONS · IN ORDER
Forward
Sometimes a book goes too far. Sometimes … is now. First—there was The Gilgamesh. Then… the Bhagavad-Gita. Then… The Torah, The New Testament, The Koran. Then… The Book of Mormon, Dianetics, I’m OK You’re OK.…
Chapter 0
If the only thing you’ve been able to laugh at for the last 5 years is the fact that NOTHING is funny anymore—…
DON’T LAUGH
“I don’t practice what I preach because I’m not the kind of person I’m preaching to.” “Bob” in Newsweek…
THE MIRACLE OF “BOB’S” TYRANNY AND THE
“He ain’t no man … He ain’t no god … I don’t wanna walk the path that “Bob” trod …” —prayer of St. Janor the Hypercleats…
EARTH IS HELL
You’ll get your answers, allright. Dobbsian Hermeticism all-too-fully explains Man’s place and purpose on this Earth Plane, this hierarchy of universal cruelties.…
THE CURSE OF “BOB”
“You are sitting and smoking; you believe that you are sitting in your pipe, and that your pipe is smoking you; you are exhaling yourself in bluish clouds. You feel just fine in this position, and only one thin…
“YOU CAN BE WHAT YOU WON’T”
“The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some men count slackness; but is LONGSUFFERING to us ward, NOT WILLING THAT ANY SHOULD PERISH, BUT THAT ALL SHOULD COME TO REPENTANCE” (II Peter 3:9).…
CREATIVE TRUTH
“bulldada the latest exploration into the world of advanced surreavolutionary morealism in which the mind is filled with dirt and lugs which trickle down the sides of the cranium to find shelter and rest inside…
SALVATION $1 and THE PERILS OF FALSE SLACK
“I’m here with, basically, nothing to say. And that’s what I want to talk to you about tonight. Are you saying what you really mean to say? Do you even know what you’re really thinking?” —“Bob’s” first lecture,…
YOUR SUBGENIUS HERITAGE
“And the ape and the man exist in one body; and when the ape’s desires are about to be fulfilled, he disappears and is succeeded by the man, who is disgusted with the ape’s appetites.” —Colin Wilson, The Outsid…
SHUT UP OR STAND UP!
“I PICK THE GOD DAMN terror of the fucking gods out of my nose! Pardon my language. But YEEEEEHAW, let the sons of God and man bear witness! Even in the belly of the Thunderbird I’ve been casting out the False …
WE DARE CALL IT ‘CONSPIRACY’
“There’s something definitely un-American about banks nowadays!” —Little “Bobby” Dobbs at age 10…
“THE UFO MADE ME DO IT”
“Stretch forth thy hand from on high, rescue me and deliver me from the many waters, from the hands of aliens, whose mouths speak lies, and whose right hand is the hand of falsehood.” —Psalms 144:7…
Chapter 12
tHE bOOK OF THE sUBgENIUS - CHAPTER 12 - DATELINE FOR DOMINANCE… When Tomorrow Becomes Today…
THE PRESCRIPTURES
What follows are excerpts from the most sacred texts of the Church of the SubGenius—the “Mad Tidings” spoken directly to Man by JHVH-1 through the medium of J.R. “Bob” Dobbs.…
EXCUSES, TRUE LIES AND DOLLAR$ - The Real World
“Act like a dumbshit and they’ll treat you like an equal.” —“Bob” from THE ECONOMICON (4:18)…
SEX - THE DIVINE BATTLE
“Doest thou desire her most foully for those things that make her good?” —Antonio in Measure for Measure, talking to himself about wanting to make it with a nun.…
HEALTH, THE INDUSTRIAL DIET, AND BAD THINGS
You probably know at least ten people under the age of thirty who have some form of cancer.…
STARTING YOUR OWN CHURCH
“In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues. They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they sha…
YOUR INSTRUCTIONS
You yes YOU can and must self-deprogram! To “Disconnect” is of utmost importance. “Bob” is now doing it for you by making you NOW do it. And you must do it to the HILT! Your divine idiocy and personal extremism…
PATHS TO FRENZY
“THE HARVEST IS PLENTEOUS BUT THE LABORERS ARE FEW!” When Jesus said that “the woods were full” of Levltes. Priests, Scribes, Doctors, Teachers, Divines, etc. But most of these divines had become DRY VINES, and…
YOUR MOVE
“The superstitions of yesterday are the science of tomorrow.” —Dr. Van Helsing in DRACULA (1933)…
Buy the actual book.
It has the art, the layout, the collages and the hand of the people who made it. A text transcript is not the book; it is a map of the book.